Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

A quiet Sunday as Susan and a nice drive

Well it is Sunday and I really hadn’t planned on having Susan time today but as I had the day free, I decided to spend it as Susan. I decided I would take a drive up the gorge and maybe check out Multnomah Falls. Yes, it is a rainy day but there are supposed to be some sun breaks and I was hoping with the weather they would not be that busy. My plan was to leave around 9 so I got up early and got ready. now as you all know who read my blog, I love makeup and trying different looks and today was no exception. Today though I was going to try and find a makeup look that would go well with my black wig, I don’t wear this one often as if the makeup is not just right, I don’t look good. I spent about 2 hours getting ready and yes used more rose color eye shadow and a softer color lipstick and, in the end, I was pretty happy with how it turned out and I did get a few pictures. I wore black leggings and a grey sweater top and my white and pink tennis shoes in case the weather cooperates and I can get out and walk around at the falls. I also took my ankle boots just in case I stop someplace where I don’t have to walk a lot, a girl hast to be prepared.

I left home and drove out I-84 and saw a sign that said the parking lot was full and also something about a permit which is something new but I figured I would go check it out. now it is only about 40 miles not as far as I thought but was a nice drive. I got there and yes, the parking lot was full so I drove down the old highway and drove by it just to look but couldn’t find any roadside parking either so today would just be a nice drive. I decided to drive up to Hood River just for something to do as I have not been here in years. I got to Hood River right about 11am and planned to drive back the Washington side but did stop at a McDonald’s. Now Hood River is not real big and I don’t suppose they have a hug Transgender population but I figured if Nicole could go out in all the small towns, she goes to in Washington why not me. I went in and ordered some food and sat and ate it and really no one paid any attention to me although I am sure I got a few looks. After I ate, I drove across the bridge and headed back towards home. It was a nice drive and gave me time to think.

Now from time to time we get girls who question this side of our lives and that goes for me also. One of our girls posted a question to the group on how do we explain this to people and this got me thinking about it again. It really is a hard thing to explain to people, it is hard to explain even to myself. Why do I dress this way? Why do I like to go out as a female? What is the purpose or point of it? All are really good questions that is am sure we have all thought about and tried to justify to ourselves and others. For me this was my biggest issue growing up and what kept me from enjoying this part of who I am for many years. I will give you my answers to these questions and they are just that, how I feel about these.

The short answer is I have no idea and I am sure that is not the deep wisdom you were hoping for. It is like asking why someone buys a white car over a red or blue car, why someone buys a Toyota over a Ford or Chevy, why someone likes a certain food. The simplest answer is it is who we are. I am who I am and that is all I can be. I like makeup, I don’t know why. I like pretty and long nails, I don’t know why, I like pretty dresses, I don’t know why. We get so hung up on trying to figure out why we are who we are instead of enjoying who we are. I know some women who hate long nails, who hate heel, who hate dresses and yes some even hate doing makeup, go figure. It doesn’t change who they are any more then my love of these things changes the person I am inside. For my friends both as Susan or my male self, if you were talking to me on the phone there is nothing that would give me away. The only way any of my friends would be able to tell is to see me. I am still the same caring friendly person no matter how I am dressed. Society has created these little boxes that everyone should fit into and if you don’t it seems some people can’t process what they see. As society we really need to get pass the outward appearance of people and see them for who they are. I will date myself a little here but there use to be a TV show called the Dating game from the late 60’s & early 70’s where one person asked questions of 3 people hidden behind a curtain and it wasn’t till, they picked that they got to meet. The other person could be older than you, younger, a different race or nationality and I think that is a great way. We tend to form opinions about people and judge them simply on how they look and I think we miss out on meeting a lot of wonderful people. The friends I have made as Susan are some of the most wonderful people you could every meet. So I guess what I am saying is don’t worry so much about why you are like this but focus on enjoying who you are as everyone is special in their own way. Wow I guess the drive was longer than I thought.

I got back to Vancouver a little after 2 and yes, I had my computer with me so I figured I would stop at Starbucks but there was a problem, my hair. Now yes, I have gone to the Starbucks with different hair before but it was really more the style of the wig not the color. Showing up with black hair would be a big change so I decided to go to the Starbucks by Vancouver mall, I have gone here a couple times over the years but not enough that anyone would really remember me. This one does not have a drive through so it really is a good place to people watch. I got my drink and sat by the window facing the door so I could watch the people come and go. Now there was one young girl that I just have to mention as she walked in and looked towards me and turned around and walked back out and yes I was thinking it was me but she went to her car and got her mask which she had forgotten and came back in. now the funny thing is she had what I think was a sucker in her moth as I could see the stick, sticking out so she had her mask around her chin and yes the whole time she was in here that was how she wore it. this is not about wearing a mask or not of if they do anything or not but I am just wondering why she went back out to get it if she wasn’t going to wear it. I stayed here till about 4:30 before going to get something to eat.

I decided to go to Cascade station as I wanted to go to the Ross Dress for Less and I figured I could do the Panda Express there. I got there and went into Ross and looked around, found a couple dresses but not in my size, I really envy smaller ladies. I walked over to the Panda Express and went in, there were 5 people a head of me so I had to wait and it was cold. They had their air conditioning going and it was actually colder inside then outside and it was only 64 degrees outside. I got my dinner and went and sat at a small table outside under the breeze way. Now as I sat and ate dinner it did rain and it turns out I was just under the cover as less then 10 feet away from me it was all wet from the rain. It was actually a cool way to eat and watch the rain.

I left here and normally I would go to the Starbucks near my house and work on my blog but again I didn’t want to go there with my different color hair. The reason is these places I always go to as Susan on a regular basis they only see me this way and it may sound silly but I am sure they think I am full time as they never see me any other way and I like that. Going with such a dramatic change in hair color may make them wonder.

I decided to go to the Starbucks on Mill lain as it is on my way home and yes, I have gone here before but not really regular so I doubt they would remember me. I got there just before 6 and went in. I got my drink and sat down to work on my blog from today. I only stayed here till a little after 7 before going home as I had some laundry to do before bed. I also sent out the information for our Monday night zoom meeting.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

I also booked my hotel for Diva Las Vegas next month. A lot more expensive this year as it is over Halloween. I will be there for 8 nights and that Friday and Saturday before Halloween is almost ½ of what my room will be. We will arrive on October 25th and leave November 2nd. Yes, I will have acrylic nails, I plan to stop on my way home Friday night October 22nd and get my nails and have them removed on November 3rd, I am so looking forward to this.

September 19, 2021 - Posted by | Starbucks, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , ,


  1. Glad you had a great time out. So much fun. Keep up the posts, it really is encouraging.

    Comment by Janis | September 22, 2021 | Reply

  2. How wonderful, two weeks with nails! Will you get a fill while you are in Vegas? I envy your lifestyle and life balance. You are a lovely lady Susan!

    Comment by Bethany | September 27, 2021 | Reply

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