Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Monday night Zoom meeting

It is Monday and I get to spend a fun evening online with my friends and I have a good question for tonight. I got home and had time before the meeting so I took my time getting ready. this is my me time, my relaxing time, doing my makeup is so good for me as it relieves all my stress. I tell people this all the time find something you enjoy and find time to do it. I did a less dramatic eye look but went with my pinkish lipstick, still trying to decide if it is a good color for me as in some pictures it looks good others not to sure about. I dd go with my long blonde hair though and I thought it was a good look for the night. I was already a little after 6 so I still had plenty of time. I posted my blog from Saturday and started working on my blog from Sunday as I am once again behind on my blogs.

It was just before 7 when I started the meeting and yes girls were waiting. Now tonight was a smaller group as we only had 8 of us, Jennifer, Jan & Lynn, Melissa, Nicole, Emily, Danielle and me. I had hopes one of our new girls Sherri would join us as she just joined our group over the weekend but she didn’t. We took a little time and caught up on how everyone was doing and then I decided it was time for my question and it really wasn’t a group question but more one for Melissa. Now today at work one of my co-workers was talking to me, I have worked with her for several years including a few years back when I had my short acrylic nails for over a year. Any way she told me her son came out to her over the weekend as Transgender, so I guess now her daughter. Any way she was telling me about it and how her ex-husband is having a hard time with it and she was looking for information and a therapist but wasn’t having any luck. Well we talked for a bit and I did think briefly about telling her about myself but chickened out but I did tell her I had a friend who had transitioned 1 ½ years ago and asked her if she would like me to find out who her therapist is and she said that would be wonderful. So that was my question for Melissa tonight. Well Melissa was wonderful. She not only quickly I might ad e-mailed me who her therapist was but also several links to information that helped her come out so I will share that with you all, they may be more for the Portland Area. Thanks Melissa.

The PFLAG Our Trans Loved Ones publication:

PFLAG Portland is a support group for families of LGBT+ people. This was useful for my mom.

Maybe try calling the Qcenter

The way I found my therapist was here. You can adjust for location:

Brave Space is another popular place to find support and resources:

Pod cast on trans mom raising her trans daughter

KUOW – How to Be a Girl

Anyhow, that is a good start, I think.


We actually talked about this and my co-worker and if I thought she talked to me about this because she thinks I am transgender or knows about my dressing and to tell you the truth I don’t know. I did get my ears pierced 1 ½ years ago and she was one of the ladies who noticed, and when I did have my acrylic nails a few years back she did notice that also and even now I really do have nice nails for a man. I have been working on them keeping them a square and just a little long and of course using OPI nail envy which is a wonderful nail hardener if you want to grow your own nails out. they do have a matte finish one I was using but last time I needed it they were out so I got the regular one which is shiny as you can see from this picture. Any way it would not be out of the question if her or others were at least wondering. As I have said before I am not coming out to people but I am also not hiding.

Well we all talked some more and then it was time for Jennifer’s group question of the night, where do we get our fashion sense and what is it? now this is a really good question and I am sure we all went through several types including sexy or trashy depending on your view. Even those who transition later in life usually at least try these looks and I think it is we missed it growing up. Females grow up this way and experience all of it and in some way, we have to grow through all of it also. I love the sexy dresses young women wear and I even have a few but what I have learned over time is one they don’t look right on older woman and 2 you really need the proper body shape for these looks and even a lot of women can’t pull off these looks let alone me so these are more for fun around the house. Same with heels, I love high heels but again being 6-foot bare foot heels do make me stand out even more. The average height for woman is between 5’6″ and 5’7″ so heels get them close to the average height for a man 5’11” to 6′. Even tall woman are about the same as the average male. I have learned that if I am going out and want to blend in, I have to wear flats or very low heels. Same goes for makeup and yes, I probably do a little more then the average woman my age but I have to hide a lot and shape my face. So although I love those things and looks, I have been trying to tone down my look.

For me as you all know I love to go to Starbucks as Susan for a few hours, well one of the great things about this is I get a good chance to people watch and I get a good cross section of people from high school to retired people and yes, all kinds of dress, I have even seen on occasion women come into Starbucks looking like they were getting ready for a fashion shoot or a prom although that is a small section of the people. I have used this to gage what I should be wearing and how I should look and I have found that leggings, capri’s and skinny jeans seem to be the most common look so that is where I have been focusing and yes, some wear skirts so that is also an option. Yes, I love the fun looks but when I am going out, I am trying to blend in more unless it is to the Escape on a Saturday night or we have a big group going out to dinner, face it if you have 4 or more transgender people in one group you will stick out no matter how good you all look.

The point I am trying to make if you are going out and want to blend see what other women are wearing at the places you want to go. That beings said also realize you are going to stick out at least some, none of us pass 100% of the time. I even work with a lady who is really tall and she sometimes gets misgendered or people think she is transgender. If you are going out know this but be positive and act as though it is perfectly normal and smile and 99% of people will be okay with it, yes you will get some looks but who cares. When I go out, I am sure I get looks and people notice but I have never really had a problem and for the most part no one really pays any attention to me. People have busy lives and they are more concerned about their own life then yours and what you look like or how you are dressed.

Well it was about 8:30 tonight when some of the girls started to log off and by 9 it was just Jan, Lynn and me and as I had to go to work early tomorrow, we closed the meeting down for the night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner and the weekend when I will get to be Susan on Saturday.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are and live your life. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 21, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | 1 Comment


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