Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday, two days before Christmas

It is the Saturday before Christmas, actually two days before Christmas. This year has goo=ne by so fast. Now I am going to the Escape tonight although I am not sure how many from our group will be out as I know some are out of town for the holidays. Kate posted in our group to see if anyone else was going out so I posted back I would be there so I figure at least she will be there. I started getting ready about 4:30 a little later then I wanted as I was hoping to get there early. I was all ready and on my way by 5:40 so I got there right at 6 and was able to park right in front, one of the reasons for getting there early.

I went in and they were not that busy so I got our usual table which seats 10, I always feel a little bad taking such a big table when I am not sure how many if any will show up. One of the ladies at the bar who I have talked to many times was there and said hi and how nice I looked which I always love, it is my feminine side but I love hearing how nice or pretty I look. N ow I feel bad as I can not remember her name and I didn’t want to ask her what it was again. Any way I talked with her and two of her friends for about 10 minutes and of course one of the topics here heels. I finally sat down and broke out my computer and of course ordered dinner as I was hungry.

Now there were other people in the bar but it was not real busy which I kind of figured being a couple days before Christmas. I figured I would get a quick selfie. I had a nice dinner and caught up on some work as I waited to see if anyone else would show up. One of our new members in the group Lee said she was going to stop by in boy mode as she still has not gone out of her house as a female yet so now I was thinking there would be at least two others tonight.

It was now after 7:30 and I was beginning to wonder if I would be it when Kate arrived. Now I don’t mind going out by myself as I do it all the time when I go to Starbuck’s but it is always more fun when you have someone else with you. It was good to see her out. We talked for a few minutes when this guy walked over and introduced himself as Lee and joined us. It was nice to meet lee and she yes, I am calling her she as hopefully when she comes out with the group in the future it will be as her female self but if not, that is okay and she is still welcome. Now I give her a lot of credit to come out as her male self. It took me years before I would let anyone know who I was on my male side or see me. Any way the three of us talked and got to know each other better. Lee seams really nice but has the same fears and concerns we all have had at one time or another. I told her it does get easier with time and going out but the first few times are hard. I remember my first times I was so scared and really didn’t want to talk with anyone but I have a wonderful friend named Alice who really helped me. I remember one of the first times we were out, two girls came over and started talking to me and I thought that was so wonderful and it really helped me feel more comfortable, found out later Alice had run into them at the bar and was talking to them and told them how nervous I was and asked them to come over and say hi to me. It was a simple thing but it really did make a big difference for me and helped me feel more at ease. It is funny the things you remember from your past that to others may not seem like that big of a thing, a kind word, compliment or just being there with the person but it can have a huge impact on them.

Well I learned a lot about Lee, she has actually come out to her younger sister and a friend and both took it well which is great. Now there are some who know me both ways but they met me as Susan well plus my neighbor who know but that was because she saw me and found out but I have never just come out to someone about Susan. That is a hard thing to do as once you tell one person you really have no control over it and you can never truly know who knows. I don’t know if my neighbors told anyone else and to this day none of my neighbors have ever said a thing about it but it is possible every one of my neighbors know. I mean it is not something most people would walk up to you and say “guess what I heard about you?” the good thing is none of my neighbors treat me any different.

It really was nice to just sit and talk, well a little later another man came over and said he was listening to our conversation and he even apologized for listening in which you really have to figure others around you can hear what you are talking about. Anyway, he introduced himself and then showed me a picture. He went to Over the Rainbow Wednesday and got a makeover. I will also use her female name which is Evonne. Any way I asked her to join us and the 4 of us kept talking, Evonne also has never been out and it turns out Lee and Evonne work in the same field, kind of a small world. I told Evonne about our group the Rose City T-girls and invited her to join. It was nice to get to know them both and I hope they both come out with our group again. Now it wasn’t real busy tonight but soon Karaoke started which I was looking forward to as I wanted to hear some Christmas songs, yes, I love Christmas Music and have been listening to it since before Thanksgiving. Any way there was no Christmas music tonight it was just like every other Saturday night which there was nothing wrong with but I was hoping for Christmas music.

One more of our girls showed up so we had 4 from our group tonight which was smaller than normal but better then I thought there would be. Everyone was in a good mood and several girls came over and talked with us which is nice. Evonne was the first to leave and then Lee, I really hope they had a good time and felt welcome in our group. Kate played some pool and I sat and listened to the singing, it was just good to be out again. It was almost 11 when I decided to call it a night, I got up to leave when the Karaoke called a lady up and announced it would be the first Christmas song of the night. Well I have been waiting for this all night so I sat back down. The Lady sang Oh come all ye Faithfull and did a really good job, now I will admit this was not the Christmas music I expected in a bar but I sang along, I really love Christmas music but I do think my favorite is the Christmas Carols as after all this is what Christmas is all about. After she was done most of the people clap. Well it was now 11 and I needed to go so I said goodbye to my friends and headed for the door. On my way I stopped at the bar where the lady who just sang was sitting and told her how well she did and how much I enjoyed the song as I love Christmas Music. Well much to my surprise she stood up and thanked me and gave me a huge hug. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she hadn’t seen her dad in years and it was one of his favorite Christmas songs and how she used to go to Church with him all the time. I talked with her a few more minutes and she gave me another hug and thanked me. As I said before you never know what impact you can have on someone. And this time of year, can be hard as a lot of people don’t have family they can spend it with especially in the LGBT community. I was on my way home and I wished I had stayed just a little longer and talked with her some more.

It was a good night and a wonderful way to start the Christmas weekend off. To all my friend a very Merry Christmas and please know you are in my heart and thoughts.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what I am up to.


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December 24, 2017 - Posted by | Christmas, Dinner out, Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Another fond memory.

    Comment by Alice | December 26, 2017 | Reply


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