Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night as Susan what a wonderful feeling

Well it has been a long and busy week but things are getting back to normal in my male life and that means more time for Susan. I did go out to Dinner on Wednesday night and had a wonderful time and now being Friday I am looking forward to a fun night out at Sweet Home with my friends. The funny thing is it’s not just the going out it is the state of mind I am in just knowing I am going to get to be Susan tonight and go out, even that has a peaceful calming feeling on me and makes my whole day seem better. Susan really does bring out the best in me for some reason probably because I feel more relaxed and normal as I am not really hiding anything when I am her. What I mean by that is I know people know I am not female and I am a crossdresser and I am okay with that on my female side but I still have to hide my female side when I am my male self and that can be stressful.

Well I got home from work and started getting ready a little after 5 you know all the girl prep stuff, shower shaving and trust me there is a lot more shaving for Susan than my male self and then time to do my makeup. Now tonight I tried something different doing my makeup as I saw this on a video. I actually did my eye makeup first before I did my foundation. It actually worked pretty well and only messed up a little of the eye makeup putting my foundation on. Not sure which is better so I will have to try I a few more times. There are advantages to both ways so I guess it will come down to which I like better. Again tonight I didn’t pay attention to the time as I wanted to enjoy myself getting ready. I was ready by 6:20 and out the door so even without rushing it was a little over an hour getting ready.

I got to Sweet Home about 6:40 and Chris was there already. It was kind of slow but always gets busier around 9 or so. I got to talk with Chris a little and then got out my computer and caught up on some e-mails. It is just so nice to be out as Susan and funny when I say that as I really am not aware or thinking about the fact I am out as Susan I am just out as myself so I don’t know why it should feel any different other then as I said I don’t feel I am hiding anything and that is a wonderful feeling. I went into a chat room and talked with a few people including Cassandra and talked her into coming down for the evening.

It was about 8:30 when Cassandra got here and also Kira, Now Kira has been out before but she was going by a different name before. She changed it as she liked Kira better. It is funny how many girls do this, I think some pick a name when they first go out as they are unsure about it and if they will be going out more and once they do then they put more thought into their name later. This is one of the wonderful advantages to being transgender as we get to pick our names. Think about it when you were born your parents picked your name and that was it that was who you were but as transgender when we embrace our other side we then get to choose who we are and what we want as a name and that is wonderful. Everyone has a different reason for the name hey have and why they picked it so I figured I would tell you how I came up with Susan, I may have already done this in an earlier blog so if I did you can skip to the next paragraph. There was this really cute girl named Susan and we were kind of friends but I was shy and too afraid to ask her out especially as at this time I really didn’t understand about my feelings of crossdressing. Well I figured if I couldn’t go out with her I could share her name and that is how I came up with Susan. Now my last name was kind of an accident. When I was 18 I got a PO Box so I could order things through the mail and get information, without dating myself this was before computers and the internet. Well I got the PO Box in my mail name but really didn’t want to use my mail name for ordering girl things so I stood in line to find out what I needed to do to add a name on my box. I had only had it a week or so and had a few pieces of junk e-mail from the last owner of the box. Well I got to the counter and asked and the man just asked me for the name so I said Susan real proud of myself. Then he asked for her last name something I had not even thought about. Well looking at the junk mail in my had the last people who had the box had the last name of Miller and without thinking that is what I told him so Miller was an accident but it worked out wonderfully though and I would not change my name now for anything because that is who I am on my female Side, Susan Miller.

Roxy showed up in a really cute dress tonight, it was good to see her also. Cassandra and I talked for a while which was nice. Eventually the conversation turned to stocks and the stock market. I actually like following stocks and the stock market and although I am no expert I feel I am well versed in it. I have been investing for years and I spend a little time each day checking the stock market and the stocks I own and follow, kind of my little hobby also. So there is a little bit about my male side I am willing to share that most may not know. Funny how over the years the line between Susan and my male side has blurred I am more willing as Susan to talk about my male side, where in my male life I cannot see myself talking with people about Susan. Any way we sat there as girls and discussed stocks and the economy again not something I would have thought 7 years ago I would be doing. It is funny as some people think because you are transgender or a crossdresser that you are somehow different but in truth we are not. I could have been sitting there with any of my family or friends and if they had been blind folded they would have had no idea I was Susan well they would have smelled my perfume. What I am saying is I really am the same person male or female. I think if people realized this then there would be way more acceptance of the transgender community.

Karaoke started and of course that is always fun but hard to carry on a conversation with the music and singing. We talked between songs and listened to the singers. It was a fun night. Cassandra left a little before 11 and there was a good crowd here by now, it was hard to move around. Monica and Raven showed up, it was nice to see them again. It was about 11:30 and I was getting tired so I was thinking about leaving but the people standing at the bar was huge and I needed to pay my bill yet so I stayed a little longer. Finally just before midnight the bar line died down so I went and paid my bill and called it a night saying good night to my friends with hugs. It is so wonderful how woman are so free to give hugs and men feel less at ease with hugging. This is a shame as a hug really makes you feel good.

Thanks for reading and please male or female it doesn’t matter give a hug to someone you care about today, you will both feel better.


August 29, 2015 - Posted by | crossdressing, Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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