Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday is here and time for some Susan time with friends.

Well it has been another long week and I was ready for my Friday night out, this is my night to relax and get away from all the stuff going on in my male life. I started getting ready a little before 5 with hopes of being out early, well that didn’t happen. I tried a different look with my eyes, more dramatic and a really pretty teal green color and it just didn’t work the first and it was bad enough I had to remove it and start again. The second try was better but still not what I wanted but it was getting late almost 7 and it looked okay so I called it good.

I got to Sweethome and Chris and Cristine were there already, they had actually posted to the group they got here at 5. Now the bar was getting a new pool table tonight so it looked kind of strange as there was this big empty spot where the old table was. The new table was on the way and actually arrived about 7:30 and they started setting it up. It was kind of fun to watch how they do this and get it level. They actually have a level that can show out of level by putting a single piece of paper under one side so we know the table is good as Chris and a couple others from the bar were watching. It took them about an hour to get it all set up and ready to play. Chris from our group got to play the first game on the new table, he and Side Show Bob (his nick name) played and Chris did well but not good enough so he has the first loss on the new table and Side Show Bob the first win. Thought I would record this fact for future generations as I know it is an important fact.

Well Jerri Lynn showed up, she is my friend from Vancouver BC that comes to Portland a few times a year and always e-mails me when she does to find out what we are doing. It was nice to see her again and talk with her as I always learn a little more about people when I talk to them and as you can imagine the Transgender community is a pretty secretive group. I have some friends I have known for years and still don’t know their male name, where they live or what they do for a living and yet they are some of my closest friends. I really don’t think you need to know everything about someone’s life, you need to know what kind of person they are and that is the key. I feel closer to my friends here in the group who I may not truly know all about them then I do to some of the other people who I know everything about. The only bad part of this is when you lose contact with someone. Some girls will disappear and you are always left wondering what happened and as you don’t know their real name where they live or work you have no way to find out. We actually had a girl name carol who came out every few months, well she passed away in August of 2013. Well her family discovered her secret life when going through her stuff and one of her daughters was thoughtful enough to post a really nice e-mail to the group from her account and let us know and I hope she knows how much that meant to us who knew her. Well back to today’s blog.

Teresa showed up tonight which was a nice surprise as she doesn’t get out much with the group, she had a date later on and stopped by for a drink with us. It was nice to see her and get to talk with her. She has come so far since I first met her. I met her back in 2008 and at that time she was crossdressing but she has gone full circle as she had SRS a few years back and has been living full time as the woman she has always been inside for several years. I think that is what makes our group so wonderful as we have girls from all aspects of the Transgender community from very part time crossdressers who can’t come out to those who have fully transitioned and are living full time and we support each other for who they are. This has helped me become the girl I am and helped me to understand and accept me for me.

Well it has been a little while since I really discussed who I am, how I feel and what I want out of life so I thought I would do that again now. I guess the first thing I get asked a lot is do you feel I am male or female and I guess the honest answer is I feel I am me. It is not about what sex my body is it is about my state of mind and how I feel. I do have both a male and female side and yes both are string feelings and important to me. I do love being Susan and all the fun stuff that goes with being female, clothes, hair, makeup, nails and shoes but I would never want to transition and be Susan full time. Now there are some things I would do all the time if I could, I would love to have long pretty finger nails and I would do this all the time if men could, well maybe sometime I would have to have my nails short but they would always be painted. If there was a cheap, easy and effective way to remove all my body and facial hair I would but as I am only part time I can’t justify the money or time to do this for a couple times a week. There are even times I have wondered what it would be like and wished I did have breasts but this is more of a fantasy then something I would ever do as I would not be able to be my male self with breast. The last is sexual preference and again this is just me, I have no interest in men. There is nothing I find the list bit attractive about men. I think it is my love for the female form that has some part of why I crossdress. Well here is a little about me.

Roxy, Petra and Michele showed up and they are always a fun couple to hang out with. We had a smaller group here tonight but it was still a lot of fun. Heather from the Karaoke group came over and talked with us, she is so awesome as is all the people who come here. Well Karaoke started and of course Chis sang a few songs and did great. Tonight also Heather went up and Sang with Jessica and they sang the song “All about the Bass” and they did awesome Heather was great. We had a great night.

Well the girls started to leave and by 12 it was just Chris, Roxy and me left. Chris and Roxy left and I was getting ready to also but Andrea from the Karaoke group was singing and I liked the song so I stayed to listen and then of Course Jessica sang a song I like and she has such a pretty voice I stayed for here song and in the end I stayed maybe a half hour more listening to the singing before I left. It was a fun night and great start to the weekend.

Thanks to all who read and follow my blog.

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December 13, 2014 - Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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