Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night birthday celebration

Tonight was going to be a fun night out and I have been looking forward to it all week long. What better way to end a week and start the weekend then a fun night out with friends, oh I know celebrating a birthday, yes today is my birthday and I have the chance to spend it not only with my family earlier in the day but also with Susan’s friends and family at Sweet Home. How cool is that, one celebration at work in my male mode, one with family in my male mode and then one as Susan with my friends of course this included way to much cake in one day. Now I know some may ask how old but a lady is entitled to a few secrets plus it is hard to figure out after all my male age is easy but Susan is younger as she did not come into existents till later in life and how does one define that, when I first started crossdressing, when I named her Susan, when I first started going out as Susan so as you can see Susan is still younger.

I was ready to leave by 7 and so looking forward to a fun night out. Now I am friends with several of the Karaoke group from Sweet Home and it turns out one of their members also is having a birthday tonight, she I guess would be my birthday sister. Well as such they were doing a Pirate theme tonight. They really are a fun group and do theme nights every once in a while and they love the pirate theme so they had let our group know in case we wanted to participate. Of course with my limited wardrobe well I have never bought a pirate outfit but maybe I will for the next time.

I got to Sweet Home and Cassandra, Chris, Jim and Bobby were all there and Cassandra brought a cake but luckily o candles of course I don’t think the fire code would allow that many open flames in the bar. Well there were actually a good crowd here for as early as it was, even the Karaoke group came in earlier than normal. A little later Petra, Roxy, Cristine, Jan and Lynn all showed up so we had a good group. Now none of us had Pirate outfits but the Karaoke group had some awesome outfits, not Halloween costume type but really good well-made outfits. It was just such a fun night.

I think everyone in the bar at one point or another wished me a Happy Birthday. By the time Karaoke started the place was packed, yes the Karaoke group had a great turnout of their group but there was also a lot of people neither associated with our group or theirs that were there. Cassandra I were joking about what someone who had never been here before would think if they walked in tonight, 20 to 30 people dressed as Pirates and then our group of 10 or so transgendered, but everyone there was having a good time. Heather was there and she had on this really cute pirate outfit that looked like it came right out of a movie. It was great to see her and talk with her. Blue was also there but she found out about the Pirate theme to late but it was great to see her also.

About 10 the host of Karaoke paused and told everyone we had birthdays in the house so Goni and I went upfront and the bar sang happy birthday to us, I don’t know what is more embarrassing being upfront singing Karaoke or standing there having everyone sing to you. Now I have met Goni and her husband Jeff before while I have been here but tonight I got a chance to talk with them more and get to know a little more about them and I think that was an awesome birthday gift.

Well it was time to cut the cake not that I needed any more cake today. I had Cassandra cut the cake partly because I didn’t want to get any frosting on my hands or under my beautiful nails. Several people from the bar both men and woman came over and talked to us, it was just such a fun night with great interaction between everyone. I even played a game of pool and almost won, Cassandra had to make 3 balls in a row and the 8 ball to win. The Karaoke was great, I really enjoy watching the people get up and sing. Some are really good and some not so good but they all have the courage to get up and sing and have fun and that makes them good.

I had a chance to talk with several people tonight about transgender which I really enjoy and I am by no means an expert but I think talking with them helps them understand us a little more. One of the biggest things I tell them is that we really are no different other then we like to dress a little outside the norm. One thing I have learned from all my years of crossdressing and from talking with others we do have some common things we go through. We all start off with that feeling we are alone, the only one who feel this way. Now the internet has made this better because you can find anything on the internet but when I was young I was convinced I was the only boy in the world who felt this way. Yes I was around before e-mail and the internet. The biggest help is to realize we are not alone and that a higher percentage of people crossdress or are transgendered then we think. Studies I have seen say about 20% of men crossdress in some form and about 5% need to dress completely and a side not that number is way higher for woman but then again it is more acceptable for woman to crossdress.

Once we come to terms with the fact we are not alone the next big hurtle is guilt, guilt over what we are doing, guilt over how it will affect others, family friend and c-workers, guilt over what people will think of us or say how they will look at us or react to us. Guilt is a hard thing to overcome but we have to remember we are not hurting anyone it is just our form of expression and it does not matter if you are a part time girl or live full time and transition it doesn’t hurt anyone and there is no reason to feel guilty about it even though others may try to make you feel that way. I often tell people I don’t expect them to want to crossdress or for that matter even like the idea but I do expect them to recognize my right to live my life how I need to. There are things others do I don’t like and are not right for me and I would not do them but that in no way means it is not right for someone else or they cannot do it, freedom of choice.

Once you get passed these the next big hurdle is going out and feeling okay about it and to do that you have to not care what others think. I know I don’t pass as a woman but I don’t care what others think and the good thing about that is you come across as self-confident and that helps a lot. If you are acting scared others will pick up on that and pay more attention to you, the key is to not give them a reason to really look close at you. People are busy with their own lives and as such tend not to focus on others unless something draws their attention. Simple put someone in a dress, long hair and makeup says feminine and on a casual glance that is what we see unless we do something that causes them to look closer. Now even if they do realize we are transgender most people won’t challenge you on it for two reasons, first they don’t want to cause a seen and then there is always the chance they could be wrong. That being said if you are acting like you are doing something wrong people will pick up in that and they will believe you are doing something wrong and then they are more likely to say something. Most places don’t have laws against transgendered people and many places now have laws that protect them. These were the hardest things for me to work through but once I did life became way better. Just my thoughts.

Well it was now past 1:30 and time to leave so we went up and paid our bills. Paul the owner took care of mine for my Birthday which was so sweet of him. I left a small tip but as I always pay with a credit card I didn’t have much cash so next week I will have to leave a little more. This really is an awesome place to go. Now having so much fun and yes being blonde I never thought to take my camera out and get pictures which is sad as I could have had so many great pictures with Pirates. Well next time I will have to remember to get pictures.

Thanks for reading and have a great day

January 25, 2014 - Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Hi Susan

    Just to say that I still read your entertaining blogs when I can, so can I wish you a belated Happy Birthday and glad you are still spreading the word.

    I hear you mentioning your male life from time to time as in work and family and while I know you try to keep this blog very much for Susan, I would be interested to know how you keep things separate with your co-workers and family members.

    Do you not have any issues? Does no-one unexpectedly call or call in while you are getting ready? What do they think you do every Friday? Do they ask questions about your vacations and what might you say after Diva Las Vegas? Any more o your neighbours?

    I would be interested to know how you cope with these issues if you ever feel you could add them to one of your blogs.

    Looking forward also to hearing of your exploits at DLV. Have fun, I know you will do.

    Hugs Tina x

    Comment by TinaCortina | January 26, 2014 | Reply

    • Thanks for the Birthday wish and the great idea for a blog. I will have to see what I can do and work this into a blog.

      Comment by susanmiller64 | January 26, 2014 | Reply

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