Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night out with my friends and the loss of Carol one of our sisters

Well again it has been another long week for my male side but I think things will begin to slow down a little now. Now the week has had some sad news as one of our group members Carol passed away the end of August, we found out from her daughter who posted it to our group from Carol’s e-mail account. Now as sad as the news was we are all glad her daughter reached out to us as too many times we in the trans community lose touch with friends we have made and never really know what happened to them as we all tend to be very secretive even with the friends we have made and I know I am no exception. I have some friends that I consider some of my best friends and yet they really know very little about me. I guess what I am saying is we should all have a few really close friends / family that we can share all of ourselves with.

Any way as I said her daughter reached out to our group and we are thankful for that. Carol was a good friend, she didn’t get out much with the group as she lived over an hour away from Portland but she was still part of our family and like all families some you see all the time and some only at holidays or special events but they are still family and loved. Now I from the e-mail her daughter sent Carol’s children were a little shocked when they were going through her stuff and came across Carol and the pictures and I can only imagine how hard that was for them. The one thing she did say was Carol looked so happy in her pictures and they were grateful that she had friends she could share this part of her life with. Their biggest regret was that Carol never shared this part of her life with them as they would have love to get to know her. It would be so awesome if her daughter who contacted us or even any of her children could come out one night with us and meet Carol’s family the Rose City T-Girls. I was trying to think and I think the last time I saw Carol was in May she had come out with the group and we both walked across the street to Walgreens as we both needed lipstick, turns out red was both of our favorite color of lipstick, something I will remember in part to my blog form that night. Carol will be missed deeply.

I think as we get older we think more about our own mortality and what will happen. I know I have thought about what my family would think going through my house and what all they would find, Makeup, dresses, wigs, heels and all the picture of Susan, would they be shocked, disgusted, ashamed, okay with it. I hope that just like Carol’s children I would hope that in the pictures and my blog they could see how happy I am and what awesome friends I have made as Susan and that would be what they remember.

Well we have a lot going on this weekend for our group so I was not sure how many would be out tonight. Actually Cassandra was the only one there when I showed up but it wasn’t long and Cristine and Bobby arrived but that would be it for a while. We also knew that the Karaoke group would not be there as I think he were all doing a renaissance fair this weekend so it would be a slower night. Well it was after 9 before others started to show up from our group. Melissa, Mikaela, Victoria and Diane.

It was great to see Diane again and what a great surprise. She actually lies on the East Coast and get to Portland every couple months. She had just been to SCC (Southern Comfort Conference) which is probably the biggest Transgender event in the world and is held in early September. I have never been to this as the time, distance and cost have never worked out for me. Actually the only transgender event I have been to is Diva Las Vegas which is in the spring so easier for me to go plus this event is more of a vacation than an event or conference. This one is so much fun as what better place than Las Vegas. A few others I know of is Esprit which is usually in early May in Port Angeles Washington in the beautiful Northwest and Pink Fest which is in Chicago in October so there are events all around if you are looking for a place to express your feminine self. Anyway it was great to see Diane and catch up with her.

I also got a good chance to talk with Mikaela, she has really come a long way since she came out last May, she has told several of her co-workers and also any Girl she goes out with. Wow even now I could not be that open about myself, you go girl. Well of course we had to get a picture of us. She had this really cute wig blonde on top with black underneath plus she had these really awesome heels. We talked for a bit and she is going to Harvey’s with the group Saturday night which is always fun. I will miss it as I am golfing again. It really is amazing as we will have 16 to 20 for Harvey’s and 7 of us golfing which means we could almost 30 of us out on a Saturday night, yes we are golfing at night they have what they call glow ball where you golf with glow in the dark balls in the dark. I guess they do have glow sticks to mark the fairway and greens and also on the flag but it will be so much fun. 4 of us are actually golfing 18 holes in the afternoon and then also that night so it will be a long day for Susan. I can remember a few years back if we could get 5 t 7 out to a Trans Club we were doing great.

Well I also got to talk with Melissa for a bit. Turns out she was already to leave her apartment but 2 of her neighbors were right outside talking and pretty much blocking her doorway. Now we have all been there I can remember watching out my window all dressed up just waiting for my neighbors to go back inside. Once I waited for over an hour and you do feel like you are trapped. Well Melissa finally just walked out and said hi to them and kept going which took a lot of courage as know they know about Melissa but it will make it easier in the future. Well Melissa took Mikaela and me outside to show us her new car, it was very nice but I told her she should have gotten a pink car. I wonder if you could buy a hot pink car.

Anyway it was a fun night, but as I was really tired didn’t sleep well last night I only made it till midnight. It is unusual for me to leave earlier than the rest but I Susan needed some beauty sleep. Well we did get one group picture before I left. Cristine got cut in half, than Susan, Mikaela, Melissa, & Cassandra. What a fun night

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September 14, 2013 - Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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