Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Enjoying a Friday night with my friends

Well it has been another long week and I am so glad it is Friday as I need some time to unwind and what better way than spending time with friends. Now I know my blogs can be a little boring and repetitive as for the most part it tends to be the same thing a lot of the time but this blog really is about my life as Susan and a way for me to record what happens in my life as Susan. Well today I got off a little early as I put in some extra hours earlier in the week which gave me extra time getting ready which I took advantage of. Any way I was ready earlier than normal so off I went planning on getting to sweethome early but even the best plans are never cut in stone. There was so much traffic that it took me twice as long to get there so it was still a little after 7 when I arrived and I was not the only one as Cassandra was the only one there when I arrived. But even with the traffic and weather issues I was still relaxed and in a good mood, one of the advantages of Susan. She has such a calming effect on me nothing really bothers me.

Well it wasn’t long and others started to show up, I guess traffic was bad every place. Chris, Roxy, Cristine, Bobbie, Michelle, Julie, Guinn, Alicia, Diane, Christy, Petra, Silver, Jan, & Lynn all showed up, god I hope I didn’t miss anyone. Well we chatted for a while and then ordered dinner. It is nice to see more of the girls coming out on a regular basis.

I chatted a little with Alicia but as always you try to mingle and talk with everyone but at some point you get caught up in a conversation and there you sit so I didn’t get to talk with her as much as I would like. It was great to see Diane again; she makes it to Portland about once a month so always fun to chat with her. She is working towards transitioning so we talked about this for a while. She also asked me when I was going to Transition which is always cute as she knows I am not going to but I do get this same question a lot in e-mails. I think it is because people can understand transsexuals easier than crossdressers. I means someone who wants to be the opposite sex or feels they should have been born the opposite sex is easier to understand than someone who just wants to be the opposite sex for only part of their life or for short periods. Even for those in the gender community it can be hard.

I can kind of understand someone who feels they should be or should have been born the opposite sex but I truly don’t fully understand as I do not share those feelings and it is the same for them as they have such strong feeling to transition that they can’t understand why I would want to dress and present as a woman and not want to transition. For a transsexual this is who they are who they identify as, who they need to be. for me Susan is a part of me and yes she is part of who I am as is my male self, yes I do identify as Susan as I do my male self, and yes I do need to be Susan the same way I need to be my male self. Susan is a very important part of my life and who I am but so is my male side, I need both to be happy. Another way to look at it is I love to go camping and spend time out in the woods however I do not plan on selling my house and everything I own and moving into the woods in a tent. I also like having a nice warm house to come home to, watch TV and yes has indoor plumbing. Now this is me and how I feel, what makes me happy and complete. This may not be right for everyone or how they feel. We are all individuals and as such none are the same and that is what makes our group, Rose-City-T-Girls so wonderful. We are all different but understand and respect each other. I have learned so much from others in the group and yes that has shaped who I am. Life is a journey so we never know for sure what life holds. For me it started with a love of makeup and from there went to dressing at home, then going out occasionally, to going out every week and now to feeling comfortable enough to go out pretty much any place I want. Yes over the years Susan has played a bigger role in my life and she is still growing and I suspect in the future she will be an even bigger part but I know she will never be the only part.

The other question is have I ever thought about any permanent changes and I would be lying if I said I have never thought about them. Yes I have thought about permanent hair removal as I really hate shaving, it would make my makeup look so much better but would also free up time every morning that I wouldn’t have to shave and also the money I would save, but at this point not worth it at my age. The second thing I have thought about is getting my ears pierced and I think at some point in the future this will happen. These are the only two permanent changes I have thought about.

Any way back to last night. I had a chance to play pool against Christy which was fun, we played 2 games and I won both but not by much. It gave us a chance to talk and get to know a little more about each other. My next game was against Julie and I played well but just not well enough, Julie won this game so I got to sit down which was nice as I needed to get off my heels so maybe I lost on purpose just so I could sit down, that will be my story.

Lorraine also showed up which is always nice as she is such a fun girl. She joined Diane, Christy and me and we sat and talked for quite a while. It was very enjoyable. I really do have such awesome friends that I have met because of Susan. Well Karaoke started and yes I think Chris sang 4 songs including the theme song to the James Bond movie, Live & Let Die. He did an awesome job. Even Lorraine and Lynn sang both doing great. It is fun to sit and watch Karaoke as some of them are really good. Maybe someday I will work up the courage to get up and sing, it is funny as I worry so much about what people will think if they see me dancing (I can’t dance) or singing but yet I am totally fine going out as Susan and could care less what people think about that, seems a little backwards to me.

Well it was an awesome night and in the end it was just Jan, Lynn, Cassandra and me left from our group. I think we made it till about 1:45 which for this girl is late, seems not that long ago I could stay up that late and still be ready to go; now I start thinking about going home to sleep. Well either way it was an awesome night. With Thanksgiving this next week I will again be very busy as I have family coming into town so Susan will be shut away till next Friday.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.

November 17, 2012 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments


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