Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Catching up on e-mails at Starbuck’s

Well it has been another long week for Susan’s male half. It seems that even with summer over I am just as busy as before. I am still managing to get find time as Susan though. I got home late but was determined to get out tonight as I had a lot of e-mails to catch up on and so much more fun when I can do it as Susan. I started getting ready early so I could take my time as I find the whole experience of Susan fun and relaxing including the time I spend getting ready. I guess if I did this every day and had for years I might feel different maybe but at this point it is still enjoyable. By the time I was ready to leave home I was so relaxed and looking forward to a fun couple hours.

I got to Starbuck’s and they were actually pretty busy, maybe 15 people inside and they were all female, looks like tonight is a girls night out at Starbuck’s. It is great as they remember what I want when I come here which makes you feel welcome and it gave me a chance to talk with Jennifer while she made my drink. Well I got my drink and sat down to work on my computer, wow how wonderful it is to be able to take your laptop with you so you can work almost any place. Starbuck’s is also a great place to people watch as you really do get a good cross section of people, not just the ones who come here to relax but also those who come to get something to go.

Well I got an e-mail from a woman that was wondering what I find so fun about being dressing as a female which got me thinking. It does seem like a good question and so I gave it a lot of thought before I answered her. It really is a hard thing to explain, as it is more about the way I feel. I think simply put I just enjoy it, woman have such pretty cloths. I mean when you think about clothing styles and compare men’s cloths to woman’s there really is a big difference. Men’s cloths are pretty basic, pants and a shirt, if you want to mix it up you change the color of your shirt. Woman’s styles are so much more varied not just in colors but styles. I always wondered why society gives woman such a wide range of choices to express themselves but for men we have such a narrow ran age. Woman can look plan and dress down or go all out to be as pretty as they want and that is okay but for a man to want to look pretty that is frowned upon. We really do have a double standard when it comes to this. For me it is just that simple, sometimes I want to or need to look and feel pretty.

Think about something you really like to do and then imagine someone asks you why you like it. you can give reasons for why you like it but there will be those that still won’t like it and in the end it will come down to the simple fact it is just something you like. Most people seem to think or want something more than a simple answer like that but in the end that is it. I like to be pretty sometimes, I like to wear makeup sometimes; I like to have long pretty nails sometimes. I simple enjoy it and find it relaxing. Even going out in public I find relaxing, most people would think that it would hard to do and when I first started going it was hard, I was scared and there was such a thrill of excitement and yes I do miss that feeling sometimes but for the most part it is this calm relaxing feeling when I am out and to be totally honest a lot of time I even forget that I am not dressed as society would expect. It has become a normal and natural part of who I am and I sometime forget I am dressed different than my born gender.

I really think I have the best of both worlds as I can switch between male and female as I wish. Yes I know I do not pass as female and I do wish I was shorter and not as big as I am. Maybe softer facial features as that would help me pass better but I enjoy both my male and female side. It has taken me many years to get to this point in my life but it was worth the trip. I really do have so many wonderful memories from both sides of me and so many wonderful friends both on my male and female sides. Some of the friends I have made as Susan are awesome and had it not been for my crossdressing I would have never met them and that would have been a shame. They are like family to me and have added so much to my life. Life is a journey and I want to enjoy it all. Besides how many men can say they know what it is like to walk in high heels or put on makeup.

Well it has been fun and relaxing for me and I have caught up on all my e-mails, I really am more focused when I am here as Susan. For one there are fewer distractions then at home but also I think the fact I am Susan is so calming and relaxing that it is easier for me to stay focused. Maybe I would have got better grades in school had I been able to be Susan part time back then. Any way thanks for reading and if you have a question or just want to ask me something pleased feel free to ask me. I will do my best to answer but remember it will be just my point of view; I cannot and will not speak for others.

November 15, 2012 - Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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