Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Susan time at Starbuck’s

Wow I was looking back at my blog and noticed that I have not been going to Starbuck’s as much as I use to, it has been almost a month since I have been here. It is funny as this was always a once a week thing but lately between work and going out with friends, I had hoped once summer was over things would slow down for me. Well as I said I am out at Starbuck’s as I find it a good place to catch up on things including some work. I really find it relaxing to just sit here as Susan and work on my computer, well it is mostly play, e-mails, chat and my blog but I do get some work done and so much better than just sitting at home.

I have also noticed that my blog is getting a lot more hits now which I believe is because the interview I gave on TV about the discrimination complaint a few weeks back. The day after that were the most hits I have ever got on my blog and sense that day I have seen a lot more attention to my blog. This really was not the publicity I wanted or to draw attention to myself and maybe it has nothing to do with it but one hast to wonder. With that I thought I would take a moment and explain about who I am and why I like to be Susan.

First of all I am heterosexual male and live most of my life as a man but a couple nights a week I like to go out as Susan. You may ask why I or any man would want to do that and it is a hard question to answer. I look at Gender as a scale from 0 to 10, 0 being ultra feminine and 10 being a macho male. Most woman float between 2 and 4 sometimes being really feminine dresses makeup and heels and other times being more casual. Men float between 7 and 9 depending what they are doing and who they are with. I think crossdressers float between 3 and 7 and depending on how we feel, what we are doing and who we are with we slide back and forth. When you think about it we really do get the best of both sides. Yes when I am Susan I am more feminine and I act more feminine and the same goes for when I am in my male mode I act as any other male would.

As a crossdresser I enjoy being female and everything that goes with it but it is not my main goal in life. A friend of mine I think explained it well, transsexuals need to be the opposite sex, and it is who they are and how they define themselves. Crossdressers like to be the opposite sex; it is part of who they are. Being Susan is not what defines who I am but rather makes up part of who I am and makes me the person I am. Think about your own life and all the things that make you the person you are. If you take away some of those things you would change who you are and the same is true for me. Well enough of this.

It is way easier now to get out as it is dark by a little after 5 now and with the cold and rainy weather I know none of my neighbors will be out. Yes I know two of my neighbors know and that does make it a lot easier also. I find myself wondering if any of my other neighbors know, my neighbors seemed okay with this side of me when they found out and I don’t think they would go around telling others but than one has no way to know for sure. Kind of like I said in earlier blogs about why I didn’t tell people as once you tell someone you no longer control who knows. I guess once the weather turns nice next spring and we are all outside more I will find out.

Well I got to Starbuck’s a little before 7 and they were a little busy. I was talking to Jennifer who works here and she is so excited as she is pregnant, only 10 weeks but she heard the baby’s heart beat today. So we chatted for a while about that. I got my drink and sat down to work on my computer. I had a lot of e-mails to catch up on and as I said there are no distractions here so I got through them rather fast. I find I am more focused here than when I am at home, not sure if it is because I am Susan or the fact there is no TV here; I like to think it is the first as Susan tends to relax me.

It really is strange as one would think being out in public crossdressed would cause a high level of stress and worry but for me it is just the opposite. As Susan I am calm and relaxed, I think it is because I can slip out of my male life and put all the stress and troubles from that side of my life away for a few hours. It really is like taking a mini vacation from everything. I am actually really good at separating my two sides and I think that makes it easier for me. It really is cool to be able to live two lives, it kind of makes you feel like a secret agent or spy.

Well it has been an average night here at Starbuck’s maybe 15 other people here plus those who come in and get drinks to go, plus there are several people on computers here. It is fun to sit here and people watch as you get a good mix of people coming in here. Well I must finish up some more e-mails before they close. I also have some shopping to do so I will do that on the way home tonight. Funny as I don’t mind shopping as Susan even if only for groceries.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the week.

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November 8, 2012 - Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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