Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Out again after almost 3 week, Starbucks is awesome.

Well in case you noticed it has been a while sense my last blog which also means it has been a while with no Susan time. For some reason this summer was busier than normal and really cut into my Susan time. Not being able to dress and express this part of me is hard, it has only been a short time compared to some of my friends online so I really understand how they feel when they have to go for even longer times. I am pretty lucky in that respect in that I do live by myself which allows me to dress when I want pretty much.

Well as I said it is a busy time and I am still not sure I will make it out tomorrow night with my friends as I may have to work really late. One of the reasons I really wanted to get out tonight even if just a couple hours here at Starbucks. Besides it gives me a chance to catch up on e-mails and a little work without distractions of being at home, yes the TV which I seem to have on way to much. I really hope that I can get out of work as I have missed the last two Fridays with my friends and I need my friends fix for the week. Yes we e-mail and chat but actually being out with them is awesome.

Well leaving my house tonight was hard as when I pulled out of the garage my next door neighbor was outside talking on her phone, she had her back towards my house but then one never knows if she turned around as I was driving by. It is fall now and soon the winter weather will set in but again it is also getting darker earlier and that means less people (neighbors) outside in the evenings when I leave. Always easier to get out in the winter as it gets dark so early. It is funny as T-girls especially crossdressers are really more of a late night person. I remember when I first started going out. It was always late at night, usually didn’t leave the house till at least 9 sometimes 10 as I needed the cover of darkness. I would have never thought of going out in the day or even someplace public. I have really come a long way as I really do feel pretty comfortable when I am out and sometimes I even forget that that I am dressed.

Well Starbucks is a little quiet tonight except for when I first got here. There was a line of about 7 people in front of me but they all got theirs to go but still had to stand in line. This would have scared me just a few years back but now it seems so natural. It is funny as I still get some people, male, female and even transsexuals who always wonder why I don’t want to transition. I really think it is easier for people to understand transsexuals than crossdressers. Someone who believes they are or should have been the opposite sex is just easier for people to understand then a man who just like to be female part time. For me it is so easy to understand, it is something I enjoy and like to do. I often refer to it as my hobby even though it is more than that as it really is a part of who I am. It shapes my life and defines who I am as much as my male side but that I think is the key for a crossdresser as both male and female side make them who they are. Transsexuals need to be the opposite sex where I need to be both. Now that being said when I am Susan I do identify as Susan, female and try to be as female as I can in thought and actions well with the exception of men just no interest there. So I guess in that way I would be called gender fluid as my gender is really based on if it is Susan or my male side. Susan has more hand movements and gestures and when she talks and yes Susan likes to talk and dare I say more graceful where my male self is more stiff and conversations are more for the exchange of information. It really is amazing when you break it down and notice the differences in the two sides.

Well I need to go for now and if I do make it out tomorrow there will be a blog about it Saturday. After this weekend I hope to get back into my twice a week routine

Thanks for reading

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September 27, 2012 - Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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