Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Passing in public

Well I am out at Starbucks again for my normal night out. The last week I have seen a couple posts and received a few e-mails about how a crossdresser passes in public and so I thought I would give my view on this. I have been going out regularly every week now for over a year now and I know that I do not pass; at best I hope I can cause people enough doubt that they wonder about it but don’t say anything. I have to be honest as I stand 6 foot tall with no shoes and weight, well let’s just say it is more than a normal woman would weigh. As a guy I have broader shoulders and narrow hips. In short not much I can really do other than pad my hips. There are many other differences too such as woman having narrower wrists and men have Adam Apples. So many differences that it is almost impossible to completely pass all the time.

Now being out and having no one figure out I am a man would be the ultimate in passing but for me it is more being accepted when I am out. If I can go out and have people accept me for how I am dressed and not my physical gender then to me that is passing. As I said I am at Starbucks again tonight and they are really busy again and yet when I came in nobody stopped what they were doing and stared at me. They all just went on with what they were doing. Some of them I am sure noticed but was no big deal and the rest are caught up in what they are doing, working on the computer, reading or chatting and never noticed. To me this is passing.

I have found that being out and being accepted (passing) has a lot more to do with your confidence and how you act then how you look. I know a few women that never wear makeup, short hair and really dress casual and yet no one questions them on whether they are male or female. The reason is they know they are female and that is how they come across. They also act feminine from their walk, talk sit and so many more things. When I am out as Susan I try my best to act just like a lady, smaller steps, sit with my legs together and anything else I can think of. I think if you try to emulate female and do it in a positive way it really helps people accept you. After all imitation is the greatest form of flattery. But if you come across as making fun of woman or femininity by the way you dress I think you will have some problems as no one like to be made fun of.

As I said there are probably 20 other people here at Starbucks and only 2 of them I recognize from being here before when I was here and yet no one is distracted by me or have left. My being here has changed nothing. Starbucks is a really cool place to go. Now I also know it might be different if 15 or 20 of us all came in at once. Well that is my view on passing. I am sure there are others that have their own views and stories and would love to hear them as I think the exchanging of ideas helps everyone.

Well as I said Starbucks has stayed busy most of the night. There are still about 12 people here all of which were here when I got here. When I got here the girl remembered my drink and even brought it out to me. So nice I must give her a good tip tonight.

Well it is less than 2 months to Diva Las Vegas and I am ready. Need to do a little shopping as I need a new pair of shoes (flats) for walking around and maybe a couple new outfits. According to the last e-mail they were up to 140 registered and so far all they are registering are those who went before and those who subscribe to their announcement list. They will open it to everyone in another week or so. Last year they had just under 180 which was a record, I think they might beet that this year. It was so much fun last year and I am sure it will be better this year.

Well I guess I will close my blog. I have been checking my views on my blog and January was my best month, just over 1500 views. Wow this girl is honored that so many people have stopped by. I really started this as a way for me to keep track of my life as Susan never thinking others would read. I also love all the comments that have been left. I love reading them and don’t care if you agree with me or even approve of how I live as long as your comment is respectful I will add it to my blog.

Have a great week and will blog again this weekend after going out Friday night.

February 2, 2011 - Posted by | Advice and tips, Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Hi Susan

    Great to read this blog; It so much backs up all of my own views about passing and being comfortable in public. It is onlt partially about what you are wearing and whether you have the shape, it is as much about the aura and confidence you give off.

    If you are smiling and showing that you are having fun too, then there aren’t many that will intentially spoil that.

    Great news on the blog. Mine too best in Jan (1140, so not too far behind) but that was boosted by my kids story (240 in 1 day!!)and I won’t be doing that every month, lol.

    Good luck at Diva Las Vegas. Are you going to be playing golf again? Your shot out of the bunker (sand trap)is one of my favourites!

    Hugs Tina x

    Comment by TinaCortina | February 3, 2011 | Reply

    • Yes I plan on playing golf again, had so much fun last year even though it is really hard to play with long acrylic nails. But sense I can only have the nails once a year and can golf anytime I will again play with the long nails. I wonder if I can get a handy cap for that.
      Yes if you smile at people and act friendly and like you are having fun no one really challenges you on what you are doing, a smile really does go a long way.
      Thanks for stopping by

      Comment by susanmiller64 | February 3, 2011 | Reply

  2. Hi Susan,

    I am an avid reader of your blog – and I like the comments, not just here, but every where; they bring a touch of cosyness with them I think. The amount of comments, throughout Blogsvillle, must run at less than 1% of the readership. Because I find others peoples thoughts (comments) interesting, and I enjoy reading the ones left on my blog of course, I like to chat on at least half the blogs I visit.

    I so adore your viewpoints here, and you have so much fun. Having friends like your group around, must help other t-girsl make that first step into the public arena. You’ve mention some in fact.

    I hope you have a nice weekend.

    Hugs Anna x

    Comment by Anna Arendt | February 4, 2011 | Reply

    • It is nice to have the comments to the blogs. I can see the number of people viewing my page but you never know if they got here by accident and then left before reading. If they comment you know they read the post.
      Thanks for reading.

      Comment by susanmiller64 | February 4, 2011 | Reply

  3. I am really shocked to read that you feel that you don’t pass, Susan! I’ve always thought of you as passing. I have shown your photo to a number of GG friends of mine and they all swear that you are a GG. As a matter of fact, I got into a heated argument with a GG friend of mine over you because she thought that I was lying to her. It wasn’t until I thought to show her your blog and website that she believed me! Then she was just shocked and kept saying how beautiful you are. Your makeup is always absolutely perfect and your eyes are gorgeous feminine eyes. I think that the eyes have a lot to do with passing. They’re not the only factor, of course, but they’re a big part. I think that you focus on what you perceive to be your flaws (we all do that). For example, you mentioned that you feel that your size has a lot to do with why you feel that you don’t pass. Well, that GG friend of mine who got into a heated argument with me over whether or not you’re a GG, is only 5’3″ and 118 lbs., and she swore up and down that you were a GG!!! So your size may only be a factor in your own mind. I know plenty of attractive GG’s that are as tall as or taller than you. I know that we all have our own definition of what “passing” is, but if you cause a big argument between two friends over the identity of your gender, then that’s passing in my book! 🙂


    Comment by Jennifer | February 8, 2011 | Reply

    • Wow, thanks Jennifer and thank your friend for me. It is really nice to hear that others think I look so good as to pass. There is a big difference though between a picture in a single point and time from one angle and being viewed in real time from all angles for an extended period of time. I have so many pictures and have learned over time how to pose and what looks best for me in pictures.
      But either way I love being Susan and being out so that is really all that matters.

      Comment by susanmiller64 | February 8, 2011 | Reply

  4. […] Passing in public February 2 2011 […]

    Pingback by Different kind of post today « Susanmillers Blog | August 12, 2012 | Reply

  5. Hi Susan……I agree with you on passing…..I couldn’t take it anymore ju
    St dressing at home….so now I dress all the time and go everywhere as Karli
    Love to you

    Comment by Karli | September 8, 2017 | Reply

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