Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

What triggers my crossdressing?

Hi all I am at Starbucks for my normal Wednesday night out and I thought I would write about more than just my being out this week. I have gotten a few e-mails asking me what triggers my need to crossdress so I thought I would see what I could come up with as I really haven’t thought of it that way. I have done some thinking about it and please remember this is only my view and how it is for me, I cannot answer for anyone else.

I don’t know if I really have a trigger as such as I get out on a pretty regular basis. What I can tell you is my time as Susan is a great stress reliever. It is how I deal with my stress in my life, my escape from the day to day things that build up in people. It allows me to step outside of my normal life and be someone else for awhile. So I guess that would be my trigger as if I go long periods without being Susan I can feel the stress build. I tend to have more trouble falling asleep as when I go to bed and try to relax my mind I suddenly find myself thinking about makeup, dresses, high heels and of course beautiful nails. So I guess in a way not being Susan adds a little to my stress level.

For me the whole part of being Susan is just so relaxing to me from the time getting ready, doing my makeup and picking out which outfit to wear to the actual going out and even when I get home and have to remove the makeup and clothes. It is just something I really enjoy like you might enjoy one of your hobbies.

I have also made some wonderful friends as Susan and I love spending time with them. I think the fact that they are separate from my male side also helps as we don’t find ourselves talking about work or anything else other than the Susan side. When I get together with friends from work no matter how hard we try we always end up talking about work, same with family we talk about family so you really don’t get away from your problems or stress. As Susan we talk about clothes, makeup, shoes, wigs and anything else going on in the world but work does not come up and I think that is one of the hardest things for people to do is get away from work for awhile.

As I said many times my dressing is a way for me to relax, it is not sexual for me. I do not feel I am a woman trapped in a man’s body and do not want to change my sex. I like my male side just as much and would never let it go. The last thing and what most people have the hardest time with is the fact I am not attracted to men. Many times I get e-mails asking how I can put so much time and effort into how I look and not be attracted to men. I can’t really give a good explanation other than I am not. I guess the best I could say is just because one watches football does not mean they want to play football, just because you like to fish does not mean you are going to quit your job and leave your family to go fishing all the time, just because you might like ice cream does not mean you want it for every meal every day for the rest of your life. You can like something without having it consume your life. I will close with a couple questions for you to think about. First for the woman out there, when you get dressed in the morning do you pick out your clothes, do your hair and makeup with the thought that this is for someone else and you get no pleasure out of it? Now for the men, when you go to the gym and work out is it fo9or someone else and you get no enjoyment out of it? We all do things we enjoy for no other reason than the enjoyment of I, and that is what my crossdrressing is for me.

People try to read too much into things sometime. Now again this is me and how I feel, if you ask 100 crossdresser, t-girls, transgender or transsexuals you will get 100 different answers and that is good as we are all different. If everyone was the same life would be very boring.

Well that is my thoughts on this. Now for my normal update on Susan. Starbucks is really slow tonight. When I got here there were only 3 people at the outside tables and 4 inside. By 7:30 everyone inside had left and I have had the place to myself except for maybe a dozen people who have come in to get something to go. The girls who work here usually don’t start cleaning the floors and tables till 8:30 or so had it all done before 8. I have been able to get a lot done as there have been no distraction (people watching) which is good as I have everything I needed to do done but it wasn’t the same as part of the fun is being out with other people. It did give me a chance to talk a little with the girls working tonight. I do miss Katie and Shavonie as they were so much fun and always so talkative.

Well I guess that is enough for tonight, I will be out again Friday night and I believe our group is all going to Embers and it sounds like we should have a pretty good turnout so I will post again after Friday about it. Have a great week and thanks for reading my blog.

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

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September 1, 2010 - Posted by | Starbucks, why crossdress, why men crossdress | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Hi Susan

    There are a lot of people out there that would give different reasons, but mine are close to yours, in that it is a hobby, something I enjoy doing that is very different to other aspects of my life, and as a result it is a stress buster.

    I also get a great deal of satisfaction out of trying to look my best, choosing clothes, doing my make-up and trying to ‘pass’ or at least ‘fit in’ when out in public.

    Also as you say you meet a lot of different people and make a lot of friends easily. I just love to meet the general public and spread the word that we are just happy normal people having fun with it.

    Love & hugs
    Tina x

    Comment by TinaCortina | September 2, 2010 | Reply


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