Susan time again.

Well Susan found some time for herself Friday night. It always seems the summer is so busy and this year has been no exception. For a girl who gets out twice a week to go a month with only 3 times is hard. And it looks like the next several weeks will be just as hard for Susan to get out. I really like the summer as it is so nice and warm and one can wear all the cute summertime cloths but I will be glad to see fall come and things slow down so I can get back into my normal Susan time out.

Well as I said Susan has been out so little she was really looking forward to Friday night so I took extra time getting ready which is always so relaxing. It is strange how in normal life we rush through things like getting ready in the morning and I if we all slowed down and took the time to enjoy the little things how much happier we would all be. Now I admit for men there is not a lot of things we do to get ready and I think that is why I so enjoy being Susan.

I got to the P-club right at 7:30 and Chris, Amy and Norma were already there so I joined them. We all ordered something to eat and just enjoyed some quiet conversation for a while. Soon Cassandra, Cristine, Bobby and Robin showed up so we had a small little group. The P-Club really is a nice place to go because it has so much to offer. It has a dance floor, (not always the greatest music), ping pong, two pool tables, lots of TV’s if you want to watch one of the games and shuffle board plus it is big enough inside that even with the music you can still carry on a conversation without yelling. The staff that works here also is wonderful to us and really even the customers for the most part have been great and make us feel welcome.

Well a couple of us played pool and shuffle board, I played two games of shuffle board and lost both. Amy was really hot last night and was always knocking my puck off if I put it close to the end to score a point. Still a lot of fun though as it was all about being out with friends.

The P-club had a live band last night and once they started playing about 10:30 it did get a little loud inside. The music really wasn’t to my taste but it did bring a lot of people in which is good for the club. There were lots of girls there that were really dressed hot and we would check them out both for how cute they were but also what they were wearing and how we would look in the same outfit. It would be so cool if I could wear some of those outfits but I have to realize with my height and size some things just won’t work on me and that is okay.

Later on we started talking about different things we as a group have done and could do in the future, Cassandra is always looking for new ideas as our group has grown so much and not everyone likes or wants to do the same thing. We have 219 members now and I would say about 25% of them go out on a regular basis which really is amazing.

We also talked about Transgender people and who they are and the differences that make us such a diverse group. It is strange as some are so hung up on the term they are called such as transgender, t-girl, transsexual, crossdresser and these terms can be important as they define who we are but what I have found is those outside our community really do not understand or know the difference. Most people do not know the difference between the terms. In other words if your only exposure to our community is through a drag show then if you see a guy in a dress you will think they are a drag queen. Now for me I am a croddresser. I like to dress and present myself as female. I do not want to be female full time or change my body to be more feminine but if someone refers to me as a drag queen or transsexual I do not take offence. Now if I get the chance I will tell them and explain the differences but I cannot fault them for not knowing something but yet some T-girls get so upset over this. There are members in our own community that don’t fully understand everyone.

I had a transsexual woman e-mail me who could not understand how I could want to dress and look so pretty and not want to be female. The best I could do is say it was what I wanted and how I felt. Even I don’t fully understand transsexuals, and what I mean by this is I can understand the belief they are female in a man’s body or their desire to be female full time but the emotions they go through.

T-girls as a group all share a common bond, we love femininity and being female in some way be it one piece of cloths to fully dressed but we are all individual in why. The reasons I dress may not be the same for you, what is right for me is not for you and what is right for you may not be what I want. That does not mean one way is more right or better. I do what is right for me and I expect others to do what is right for them and as long as we all look at it this way and except the person for who they are then we really do have the best community around.

I have got a couple emails where people state they always wanted to ask but were afraid of offending someone. Now I believe there is no such thing as a stupid question. Now the only way you will learn something is to ask and as long as you ask in a respectful way (no name calling) then ask away. It is a shame that people have this fear about offending someone simply by asking a question, I guess we have become too politically correct. Yes we have the right to dress how we want and we expect others to respect that but that does not take away your right to ask us why. Who knows by talking to us you may find we are no different than you and we may become friends.

New night out at Starbuck’s

Well I made it out this week on a Tuesday night. My work schedule for at least the rest of the year will be unpredictable and as such my normal Wednesday night out will change but that is good as I like not being so predictable. As they say change is good. It is a little different here tonight only 5 other people and not many coming in, not sure if it is because of the day, weather or maybe there business is just down.

Last week I had to miss Friday Night out as I got sick and just couldn’t make it out which really was hard as I so enjoy going out with my friends. I so look forward to being out with my friends all week long.

Well still slow here but the one couple that came in every Wednesday night also came in tonight so I guess they come here more than I do. Next week I will have to work late every night except Thursday so that will be my Starbuck’s night next week. It is going to take some getting used to different nights every week. I may even try going other places. I like my time here at this Starbuck’s but want to expand my outing as I have become so comfortable here. I think new experiences keep things fresh and also help keep you young. Some place I remember reading that the reason time moves so slow when you are young and seem s so fast the older we get is because when you are young everything seems new. We constantly meet new people and go to new places, but as we get older we work the same job with the same co-workers and same group of friends. I really believe this and think if we all tried new things, met new people went to new places I think we would all feel and look younger. I think living both male and female has helped me stay feeling and looking younger of course moisturizer and makeup helps a lot.

I really think that is why woman always look so much younger than men as they tend to really take the time to take care of their skin. I know as I have gotten older I am more aware of my skin and take better care of it and now I wish I had started at a younger age.

Wow tonight went by so fast I have to finish this at home as the time got away from me and 9 pm came and Starbuck’s closed before I finished. I was chatting with two friends online while doing my blog and was having so much fun chatting I lost track of time. This was really a fun night.

Well I will be out again Friday night and then again next Thursday night probably at Starbuck’s unless I can think of someplace new to go. Check back this weekend to find out about my Friday night out with my friends. Not sure where we will go but it is the friends that matter to me not where we are.

Have a great week.

Friday night downtown

Well I usual I made it out on Friday night. Friday was so nice and sunny and in the upper 60′s so when I left it was still really nice out. I am so ready for summer and warmed weather. I got to Embers around 7:30 like normal and there really weren’t many people there. Lisa & Bobbie were there so I joined them up by the pool table. There were two guys playing a game of pool so we sat and talked which I really like to do. Amy and Cassandra showed up about 8 and joined us and those two guys were still playing the same game. Cass put money on the table to play the next game and we had to keep asking them to play. It was frustration as they would make a shot and then sit and talk for 5 or 10 minutes then the next would shoot. It was obvious they had been drinking and really should have been cut off by Embers. They finally finished and gave up the table so we started to play.

Cassandra and I played the first two games and I lost both but it was fun. David one of the cocktail waiters who I know pretty well as he has worked there as long as I can remember was limping really bad, he told us he had broken his knee and had a cast on under his pants. Our group played pool and a few went down to watch the show. We still had a good turnout but our numbers have dwindled in recent weeks. Don’t get me wrong we still get a good turnout maybe 10 but back by the first of the year we would have 15 – 20. I am not sure why might just be with the nicer weather we have more things to do and just can’t get out as much. Cassandra and I were talking about it and she said Saturday nights are again becoming the big night out. Shame I can’t make both.

The crowd at Embers was small to start but as the show went on the crowd did grow which was nice as I really do like the shows even though I was up by the pool table most of the night. I did go down and watch some though. The crowd was mostly woman last night which was kind of fun. It was a good night out as always. I really like getting out as Susan so any time or place is great.

Wednesday Night at Starbuck’s 3-10-2010

Well I made it out to Starbucks for my normal Wednesday night and yes I wore one of the new tops I bought last night. At first I wasn’t sure about the color but as I see it on myself I like it. It is really more of a casual look and should go well for my Las Vegas trip. It was fun last night going out shopping even if only for a short time. I really like being out more in mainstream society and that is what will make this trip so much fun. At last count they had 182 registered (they still say they are expecting 160 ton180 so I guess they figure some will drop out) for Diva Las Vegas. I cannot wait as I am so excited as it gets closer day by day.

When I got to Starbuck’s they were busy again and as I got in line behind a couple other people Shavonie held up my drink they had it already for me so I got to bypass the ordering. What great service but it also didn’t give me a chance to talk to them but I am sure I will before the night is over. It also allowed me to get the one remaining table close to a power outlet for my computer which was nice as the people I bypassed ended up sitting on the little couch like seats in the corner and had I had to sit there it would have been more difficult to work on my computer. Right now there is not an empty set in the place. The table next to me with 5 woman at it asked if the could use the extra seat at my table which of course I said yes. I think this is the busiest I have seen it here before. A few people have come in and you could tell they had planned on staying but with no seats they ended up leaving.

Well as I said I find sitting at Starbuck’s a good way to catch up on work and my e-mails. When I am at home I have a bad habit of having the TV on and I get distracted to easy. I get more done in a few hours here and get the fun of being Susan all at the same time. It truly is the best way for me to stay focused and get things done. It is now 8 and people are starting to leave so things are quieting down now. I should be able to get a chance to talk to Katie and Shavonie now as they are not supper busy now. Starbuck’s is a really good place to go if a Transgendered person wants’ to get out. Although this one has turned into my regular (favorite) one I have gone to probably 10 different ones and always been treated well. So go ahead and get out there girls you will love it. Well time to get another drink and maybe chat for a while with them. Till Friday night this is all, have a great rest of the week all.

Well I just spent the last 10 minutes talking with Shavonie and Katie and found out Shavonie has to move in the next couple weeks so she will be going over to Beaverton and will be transferring to a Starbucks over there and to make it worse Katie is moving back east in July so I will lose both of them. It won’t be the same coming in here once they are gone. I will of course keep coming here and will just have to get to know whoever takes their place.

People watching at Starbuck’s 1-20-2010

Well I made it out on my usual Wednesday night trip to Starbuck’s. The two women that work there are starting to know me as they remembered what I wanted to drink and both asked me how my night was going. I guess that moves me into the realm of being a regular which is kind of nice. Again they were not real busy when I got here maybe 10 other people two of which were young girls maybe 14 – 15 and for the first time sense I have been coming here I got some looks. They seemed more curious about me than anything else and looked over at me a few times to see what I was doing and then went back to their conversation and seemed to forgot about me. The rest of the people here paid me no attention even the guy I stood in line next to.

I find it so relaxing to be out in public as Susan, it is hard to explain. I come here to Starbucks and spend a couple hours on my computer doing things I could easily do at home but somehow it is more fun here. I can watch the other people around me and even sometimes listen in on what they are talking about at the tables next to me. Even though I am here by myself it is almost like I am not alone. You would also be amazed at how many people come here by themselves. Right now there is a man in the corner reading a book. The man at the table next to me looks like he is doing school work. There are the two young girls sitting talking and they have not even looked my way for a long time so I think the fascination of me has worn off and now I am just another customer. There is a couple behind me and 3 other people (2 men and 1 woman) at tables on their computers just like me. Other than that it has been the people who come in to get something to go and even they don’t pay any attention to me. It gives me a chance to catch up on my blog and e-mails. I hope my blog is not to boring as it tends to cover some of the same things but it is my way of recording my time as Susan so it is as much for me as everyone else.

Let see what else I can talk about tonight; I am starting to plan for my trip to Diva Las Vegas and am trying to figure out what types of clothes I should by. I have some nice dresses, skirts and tops but only a couple pairs of pants. I need to figure out a casual look for Susan for the trip I also need to get some shoes for walking as everything I have has heels and that might look a little odd especially when we go golfing. I defiantly need to do some shopping but am going to put it off for a little bit so I can try to drop a few pounds, boy I so sound like a woman. This trip is going to be so much fun.

Well the two young girls left and never even looked my way on their way out. Several more people have come in and it is the busiest they have been tonight but still nothing like last week.

Friday night at Embers with friends 1-15-2010

Well Susan made it out again even with all the rain we are having here in Portland. As a crossdresser I really don’t like the rain as it messes up my hair and makeup something my male side never has to worry about. I went downtown Portland to Embers to meet up with all my friends, Friday seems to be the big night when most of us can get out. As luck would have it I found a parking spot right across the street so it was a short quick dash across the street in the rain which was nice as a couple weeks ago I had to park 3 blocks away. When I got inside Teresa was the only one there from our group so I went and joined her and another woman (GG genetic woman). Teresa introduced us and it turns out it was Teresa’s ex wife, they are still really close and she excepts Teresa as she is, how cool is that.

Soon others started to show up, Lisa, Maya and Bev came in and our table was soon full. Teresa joked with a guy sitting by himself at the next table that we may have to join him as our table was full and we knew more from our group would be there. The guy smiled and went over to the bar and gave us his table which was so nice of him. Cassandra and Peggy were the next to arrive and we spread to two tables. Lea and her date (I think her name is Amanda I am really bad at names), Amy, Siobhan Cheri and a few others arrived and we spread to a third table and at this point I gave up trying to keep track of everyone (if I left you out sorry). I think we had 20 t-girls there again and it was so much fun.

Siobhan and I went up by the pool table and took some pictures. I think this is one of the most fun things that t-girls like to do. I have hardly any pictures of my male self but over a 1,000 of Susan, she is a camera hog and loves to have her picture taken. You can check them out some of my pictures on my flickr page. There is also a link to Siobhan flickr page in the description of the picture of us together. Peggy took this picture for us thanks Peggy.

By the time the show started Embers was really pretty busy, most of the tables were full. Jersey-Jo Amber Scities who hosts the Friday show does a really good job and the show is a lot of fun. If you are in the Portland area you should check it out. They have them Wednesday through Saturday night and all are good but I like the Friday show best, may only be because that is the night I can get out. Well during the show Jersey made an announcement that Embers was going to host the first Miss Portland T-girl contest on Friday April 30. I guess Peggy & Jersey have been working on this and now they have it all put together. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun I just don’t know what I could do for the talent part plus I have terrible stage fright, go figure a guy who likes to dress up as a woman and go out in public is afraid of being on stage in front of people. Even so it sound like so much fun I think I will have to try and compete. A big thanks for Jersey and Peggy for working out all the details and making this happen and to Embers for hosting it.

We also had a chance to talk about Diva Las Vegas and start finalizing plans. Seems right now we have 5 confirmed going and also three other couples (6 more) that want to go and are trying to work it outs so they can. This would be great as it would give us 11 from Portland in Las Vegas. This would be so much fun and give us all more real world experience. I think that is great to the Trans community as it gives us the chance to interact with people who may never have met a Trans person and may have no idea who we are or worse have a bad idea about us. I think the more we are out in public the better it will be for us in the future plus it is just so much fun. I am already thinking about getting my nails done and what color I should get (probably a red color which is my favorite). I really hope this is Diva Las Vegas biggest year with the most t-girls there. Last year attendance was down just a little with the economy but it also makes it very reasonable to go. If you are a Trans person, t-girl, crossdresser, TG, transgender or transsexual, however you term yourself or like to be called if you can go you should. Check out their web page for more information.

One last thing before I go, there is a lot of discussion on who we are (TG, transgender, t-girl, Transsexual, crossdresser and the like). My opinion (and only that nothing more) is this. A crossdresser is someone who likes to wear the clothing associated with the opposite sex. I am fine being called this as I do love to wear woman’s clothes. They may or may not dress completely up as I do it may be one item only. Now for the harder on transgender or TG this is someone who crosses gender lines, they like to dress up and present themselves as the opposite sex again I am fine with this term as I do dress up completely and present myself as a woman. Transsexual is someone who wants to be the opposite sex, either they feel they were born the wrong sex or just feel the need to be the opposite sex. Now for me this one does not apply as I have no desire to make any permanent changes (hormones or sex change surgery). Now I do not take offence if someone refers to me this way I just explain who I am and what the terms mean. The last term is T-girl and I think this one has the most confusion. It simply applies to the whole Trans community, it is an all encompassing umbrella that we all fall under weather you are just wearing one piece of clothing to having a sex change. It would be like taking Oregonian, Washingtonians & Californians all from different states but we are all American (T-Girls). We all bend the gender line from a little to a full change and I am fine with this term. But in the end I think too much is put on what we are called and not who we are. When I am out as Susan that is who I am, a person with likes and dislike, feelings and no different from anyone else so if you run into a t-girl, transgendered person, transsexual or crossdresser and are unsure how to address them here is what you do. Walk up and say “Hi my name is ____, what is your name? They will smile back and tell you their name and now instead of a term you have a name and possibly a new friend. I think you will find that we are all pretty much the same and with the exception of how we like to dress no different from your current family and friends, we may even be your family and friends. Wow I got a little off track and got carried away.

Thanks for reading my blog and feel free to leave a comment. Whether you agree with me or not I will allow all comments as long as they are respectful and not ex-rated as I want to keep my blog as clean as possible. I am not looking for everyone to agree with me but an exchange of thoughts and ideas as I think that is where change happens. I learn and see you point of view and in return you do the same and in the process we grow in understanding.

Wenesday night out at Starbuck’s 1/13

Well it is my Wednesday night Susan time. I was looking at my nails and they need some work to get ready for my vacation to Diva Las Vegas. I got home and called to see if I could get a manicure tonight before going to Starbuck’s. I want to get my hands looking good so when I get my acrylics for the trip they will look perfect and I also want to try some different colors to see how I want to spend the week. Unfortunately they did not have an opening tonight and asked if I could make it tomorrow which I couldn’t. So I decided to try the other salon that I have used and evidently the economy got to them and they are now closed which may be why the other one was booked as they are only a couple blocks from each other. So a long story no manicure for Susan tonight. Will try again next week but will call a day or two before. I really do love getting my nails done and I don’t do it enough. I think I will try to get a manicure once a month.

Any way I am sitting in Starbucks and have finished my first drink and getting a second as it is a little chilly in here. They have gotten busier and the door keeps opening and letting cold air in. but it also give me a chance to watch all the people coming and going. When I got here there were only 6 people inside sitting now there are about 20. I really like to be out in the mainstream public I think that is why I am so looking forward to Diva Las Vegas. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there to find out how they liked it, also anyone planning on going. I would love to get know some of the people who will be there before I get there. Right now the group of t-girls here in Portland I belong to has 4 for sure going, 3 more who are planning on it and 2 who are trying to work out their schedules so they can go so looks like 9 from Portland. I am still hoping a few more will be able to go, it would be so fun with a big group.

The bad thing is I have been looking at my wardrobe and I need to do some shopping. I am good for going out a couple times a week but being Susan 24/7 for 10 day I need more clothes and shoes. I definitely need to go shopping which may end up being the most expensive part of this trip. That will also be fun as I plan on doing my shopping as Susan and added bonus.

This trip will be so much fun and the longest I have been Susan none stop. I will get my nails done with acrylic on Thursday night and from then on 10 days as Susan. I am not even taking any boy clothes just my feminine girly stuff. I can’t wait, it seems so far away but I know it will get here fast enough.

Susan is going to Diva Las Vegas this year on vacation

Well Susan is planning her vacation for this year. I have wanted to go to Diva Las Vegas for a couple years now and it never worked out but this year I am going. The other night at Starbuck’s Peggy and I were talking and I told her about my plans and it seems her and Cassandra also wanted to go so Cassandra posted it to the group and it seems there is a lot of interest. Peggy, Cassandra, Teresa and I are now all going and it seems a few other girls are also making plans so we should have several from the t-girl group here in Portland going to Diva Las Vegas. If you do not know what it is you can check out their web page.

We have talked about it and are planning on going to Las Angeles first and going out there on Saturday night at what Cassandra has said is the best T-girl club in the country Oxwood and then on to Las Vegas for a fun filled week. We are also planning on swinging through Las Angeles on the way home for one last outing there at Oxwood. I am so looking forward to this trip. I will be Susan for the whole time as I plan on only taking my female clothes. I will be Susan from start to finish, driving as Susan, Checking into hotels as Susan, nothing but Susan for a whole week.

Oh and yes Susan will have her nails done with acrylics before she leaves even Cassandra is planning on getting her nails done too. A whole week with long acrylic nails. Not sure what color I will get them painted yet but thinking of red. This will be a week of being out in mainstream USA in one of the most fun exciting and busy places in the country and I am sure I will take lots of pictures. My last vacation to San Francisco where I was Susan for a few days was so fun but this one will be longer and so much more fun

I will need to do some shopping before the trip as I need some more casual clothes and shoes. This will also be fun as I will get to go shopping which means even more time as Susan. As much fun as this trip will be the best part is the fact I will be sharing it with my friends. We are all going to have so much fun it will truly be a week to remember. Right now I think we have 7 t-girls from Portland that are seriously thinking of going. It would be so great if we could get a big group of us all to go. I think last year they had about a 150 t-girls there what a vacation if we could get 20 or 30 all from Portland. If any of you t-girls out there are looking for a vacation idea, give it a thought. Spending time in Las Vegas in female mode what could be better.

Cassandra, Peggy and Teresa we are going to have so much fun!

Oh almost forgot, last night we all met up at Embers for are usual Friday night out. We had a great time and spent part of the night talking and making plans for our trip. I met a couple new t-girls, Kalie and Stephanie. The show was good and we all stayed till the show was over so it was a late night out again.

Spending time as Susan at Starbuck’s

Wednesday night Susan made her trip to Starbuck’s for some computer time and being out and about. It is so nice to be out in the general public as Susan. Peggy came over and joined me which was really nice as it gave me someone to talk to and boy did we talk. She had brought some stuff to do and never even got to it and I hardly looked at my computer. It was so nice to just sit and enjoy some girl talk. We even talked about Diva Las Vegas and how I would like to go this year. I think it would be so much fun.

Now I usually go there from 7 to 8:30 but we were having so much fun we lost track of time till the one lady told us they closed at 9 and it was about 9:15, The two ladies who work there were really nice about it though. I think that is why I go to this Starbuck’s the most as they have always treated me well. Thanks Peggy for coming all the way over and spending time with me.

Playing pool with friends

This week with New Years I could not get out on Friday night so I decided to go to Embers on Saturday night as a group of girls were meeting there to play pool. Now I am not really good at pool but I wanted to get out few a few hours. I got to Embers and had to park two blocks away on the other side of the park. Even though there was no parking Embers was not very busy. There were about 10 t-girls there already.

My first pool game I had such high hopes but on my second shot I scratched the 8 ball and lost. It was probably the fastest game in history. Like I said I am not very good at pool. I watched for awhile and then tried again and it was as if things just fell into place. I was hot and ended up winning 4 games in a row. But as I said all things come to an end and I lost the 5th game. I watched a few other games happy with how I had done. I decided to play another game and things went my way again. In the second game I still had 5 balls on the tables and Cassandra was down to the 8 ball and I ran the table sinking all 5 balls in a row and then the 8 ball to win. First time I have ever done that and again I ended up winning 4 games in a row. It was an awesome night for Susan to play pool.

There was some excitement outside Embers. Right in the intersection there was a car wreck and the car that ran the intersection than took off and left the scene. What an idiot. He only made it to the next intersection before his car died and there were so many police cars there so fast. From what I heard they had the guy on the ground and the street blocked off. Even when I left at 1:30 there were still police out there and the wreck was before midnight.

Well just before I left Cassandra and I played one last game as we had each won 4 in a row and each won two games from each other and needed to break the tie. Susan was having the best night of her life at pool and even though Cassandra is probably the best in the group we played our last game and Susan’s luck ran out. Cassandra won, I couldn’t sink a ball even if I used my hands. When it was all over I still had 6 of my 7 balls on the table. Win or lose it was a fun night as I was out with all my friends.