Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday BBQ party hosted by Julie and Trixie

Well Saturday afternoon Julie and Trixie were having a BBQ for our group at 3 pm and I was really looking forward to it. I had planned on leaving home by 2 or shortly after but I ended up taking longer to get ready, spent a little more time on my eye makeup so it was about 2:40 when I left so I knew I would be fashionably late. Now it was going to be a hot day upper 90′s and we would be outside so I wore my short white skirt and a cute little top to try to stay cool.

It took me about 45 minutes to get there so I wasn’t as late as I thought I would be. Trixie has a beautiful house and yard and it was set up so nice with several tables and all kinds of snacks and drinks. There were already about 10 girls, Blair, Shadow, Amber, Julie, Trixie, Sandy, Brenda, Victoria S., Victoria N., and Carolyn. They were all crowded under one of the umbrella’s over by the trees in the shade. We sat and talked trying not to expend too much energy in the heat.

More girls showed up, Cassandra, Jan, Lynn, Barb, Petra, Michelle, Cristine, Bobbie, Kim, Joan, Sophia, & Lorna. We talked more and then it was time to play some games. Julie and I played Petra and Victoria in a game of Bocci. Actually Victoria S. started the game and Victoria N. finished it. Julie and I started off great and we were up by 7 before Petra and Victoria scored and we ended up winning 11 to 1 scoring 4 points on our last throw. Now Bocci ball is not a real physical game but when it is in the mid 90′s and you are in the sun shine it doesn’t take much to start getting hot and of course I was worried about my makeup.

Next Julie and I played Michelle and Kim and we got off to a good start again but that was all. Kim and Michelle seemed to have the touch this game and soon they were ahead. Now none of us were really in any hurry as it was so hot out but we had a wonderful time playing and in the end Kim and Michelle won 11 to 7. In a way Julie and I were glad we lost as it let us go back and sit in the shade and have something cold. Kim and Michelle finished as the undefeated champions of course as hot as it was no one else wanted to play so these were the only 2 games played.

Now Julie and I both had our cameras out getting pictures to post in our group. I must have taken 25 pictures and in all those only 2 with me in the picture. This is me with our beautiful Host Julie. Now this was after I had been here for a couple hours in the heat so I am amazed my makeup looks as good as it does.

Well Julie and Trixie started cooking the meat on the grill and it smelled so good and we were all getting hungry. It was time to eat so we all got around the tables and we had to move some of them into the shade as it was still really hot out.

The food was so awesome and we all ate way too much. Kim, Cassandra, Joan, and I sat at one table in the corner between the garage and house. We were in the shade but we got no breeze being in the corner but we had a great time. After we ate Trixie brought out this huge chocolate cake that was so good. I am so glad I had seconds on the other food as I was just too full to have a second piece of cake.

Robyn finally showed up and it was great she could make it. We sat around talking for a while more and as it was finally cooling off which was nice. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening and so nice to see so many girls out. It went by so fast and soon it was after 9 and I had to be leaving which is always sad.

I want to thank Julie and Trixie for such a fun day and for everything they did to make it such a wonderful day, you two rock.

 


July 13, 2014 Posted by | Rose_City_T-Girls | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First Rose City T-girl golf game of the year at Wildwood golf course

Wow what a super fun and memorable day golfing. There were 8 of us meeting for golf at Wildwood golf course in Saint Helens Oregon, we went here 5 times last year and ad a blast and they treated us so wonderful we had to go back. Now they were doing a BBQ for us before we played so we had to be there by 1 but my intention was to be there between noon and 12:30 so I started getting ready to leave at 10 am as it takes about 45 minutes to get there so I wanted to leave by 11:15.

Well things don’t always go right and it was 11:30 when I was ready to go. I was all dressed and looking cute for golf and had sun screen on every bit of exposed skin I could find as it was going to be sunny and warm today. Now I was getting my purse ready and I discovered I had not planned well. I use my credit card for everything and it turns out I didn’t have any cash on me. Now I had already paid for the golf and everything but I would need cash to get snacks and drinks from the Ashley the cart girl who brings stuff around while you are on the course. Now I was all dressed so this would mean stopping at the ATM for some cash. Now I didn’t go to the bank by my house so the only other one I knew of was the main branch so that is where my first stop was.

So as I was driving down the freeway from my house I noticed a car in the right lane that was going less than the speed limit and it looked very familiar. It looked just like my parents car and as I got closer I could see it was. Now I had 2 options slow down and stay behind them or go by them. Gambled that with my new car they may not be able to tell it was me so I just looked straight ahead and went by them s all the would see is a female driving a car that looked like mine as I know they don’t know my license plate number.

I got there and there was a man at the machine outside and another one waiting so I sat in my car to wait my turn. The man finished and the other lady went up and just then anther lady came around the corner and stopped to wait for the machine so I saw where this was going as I was another woman walking across the parking lot so I got out of my car and went and stood in line to us the machine. No one said a thing and soon it was my turn and I got my money and I was on my way.

I got to the curse about 12:30 so still within my goal and as I parked I saw I had a text from Cassandra asking if anyone else was there yet so I text her back saying I just arrived and asked where they were. I got out of my car and started to walk towards the club house and I heard a horn honk and saw Cassandra and Peggy’s car they were one row back so I walked over to meet them and of course Victoria was parking just a few cars down so the foursome I was in was all there.

We went up and checked in and went out and sat on the patio to wait for the other girls, Soon Petra, Michelle, Amber and Veronica showed up. Now we were doing a BBQ first before we played so the guy came out to cook our hamburgers and he did a great job and was really nice. This is part of our group, left to right, Peggy, Susan, Michelle, Victoria and Petra.

We all ate a wonderful lunch and spent some time talking, it was such a beautiful day sunny and warm and actually when the sun was on you it was a little on the hot side. Now the lady who we set this up with came out and brought us all cupcakes what a treat. I believe her name I Jenny and she was awesome. I had to get a picture with her also. Not a great picture of me.

After lunch we got our clubs and went and hit some balls on the driving range and then it was time to tee off. Now we were playing a best ball scramble which works best as it doesn’t matter how good you are. For those not familiar with golf everyone hit a ball and then you pick the best shot and everyone then hits from there and you do this all the way through including putting.

Now we did have prizes as we each put in $4 and we had 2 closest to the flag called a KP and the longest drive, I am not a long ball hitter so that is out for me but I could win the closest to the flag. Well we got to the first par 3 which was the closest to the flag and the other group ball was on the far end of the green. I put my shot about 8 feet from the flag and then just had to wait to see if someone from my group got closer and they didn’t so I won the first KP so I was pretty happy. We plaid the front 9 and our group shot an even par which I guess with a scramble you should but what is interesting is we made par on each hole, we didn’t shoot under or over which is a little more hard to do.

Well we started the back 9 and we found out the other group was 3 over so we were ahead but then today was more about looking cute on the golf course than winning at least for me. Well we started off on the back 9 and we kept out par streak alive till the 12 hole that is right we had 11 straight pars. Hole 12 is a par 3 and you hit from up on a hill down to the green and it is only 123 yards to the green with water behind and to the right and this is the hole our par streak would end on. Victoria was the first to hit and she walked up with her driver. Now Cassandra looked at her and asked her why she was using that as it was only 123 yard downhill. Victoria said she was going to hit t soft and Cassandra reminded her there was water right behind the green. Victoria was determined to use it so she teed up and hit it soft. It only went about a third of the way down the hill in the air and then hit the ground and we watched it roll over a hump and disappear and soon we saw it still rolling at the bottom of the hill. It kept rolling and made the green and didn’t stop there. It kept rolling at the flag and just as it looked like it would stop just short it didn’t and it rolled into the cup for a hole in one. It was amazing, I have seen them on TV but never in person. I don’t even know anyone personally who has gotten a hole in 1 before. Victoria was so excited as we all were. Of course as she sunk it and it was best ball the rest of us didn’t need to hit as we couldn’t do better than her shot so we took some pictures.

Victoria after the great shot with Cassandra in the background in awe.

Victoria standing beside the hole sign on her hole.

The ball in the cup when we got down to the green.

Victoria removing her ball from the cup and yes she did put the ball in her bag to keep and got a new ball out to use. I am sure she will frame that ball at least I would. This was the most exciting thing I have seen golfing and I am sure we will all remember it. Now this is where our game picked up momentum as the next hole we got a birdy, I actually sunk a 12 foot put to make it so I was excited now as it really was a good put.

We got to the 15th hole which was the longest drive and we could see the other group down the fairway so we knew how far we had to hit it. Now Cassandra and Petra are the two who really go for this as they are the ones who hit it the farthest. Now I can’t hit a driver to save my life. I can actually outdrive my driver with a 3 wood, a 5 wood and probably even a 3 iron. I teed off with my 3 wood and really got a good straight shot and was on the fairway about 20 yards short of where they were and although I didn’t win it was my best drive of the day. Cassandra ripped one but it went right and out in the trees so we used my great shot so I was happy. On the back 9 we actually got 3 birdies and the hole in 1 so we finished at 5 under.

We got back to the club house and told them about the hoe in 1 and they got Victoria’s name and a picture and I sent them a couple pictures I took and they are going to submit it to the new paper s she will probably have her name and picture in the new paper tomorrow. I was going to buy her a drink but I found out that the person who gets the hole n 1 buy a round of drinks and Victoria was excited to do it, seems strange to me as I would think it would be the other way around but who am I to disagree with tradition. We went out and sat on the patio again and Cassandra handed out the money for the 2 KP and the longest drive. Amber won one of the KP’s and I won the second. Cassandra asked them who had the longest drive in their group as they forgot to mark it and Petra told us they didn’t mark it because they were off the fairway. To win your ball not only hast to be the longest but in the fairway. This meant that my ball was the longest so I won that too. I think that is the first time I have ever won a longest drive and I did it with a 3 wood.

It was such a fun day and we all had a good time we are planning on golfing again and want to do the glow ball where you golf after dark with lighted golf balls. It was about 7:45 when we left the golf course and for the most part my makeup held up pretty good, just a little shiny. But after 7 plus hours in the sun not bad.

A lot longer blog then normal but a lot more to fit in. thanks for reading especially if you made it all the way to the end.


May 31, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Rose_City_T-Girls, Wildwood Golf course | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Different kind of post today

Hi All and forgive me for this post but as I said this blog was set up for me and for me I need to do this blog. We all like to think that the transgender community is one big happy family but as in all groups that is not always the case which is very sad as how can we expect others outside of our community to accepts us and treat us with respect if we cannot even do that among ourselves.

We have a former member of our group the Rose City T-Girls that left the group because she had a fight, disagreement with another member. We are not sure of what it was about as the girl who is still a member has not really made it public in the group what happened which shows a lot of class on her part.

The T-Girl who left started off making attacks against this one member and they have been public attacks online on public web pages. From there she started attacking other members of the group who had nothing to do with what happened other than being friends of the one T-Girl and even now is attacking everyone in the group with her posts and I guess in a broader look all transgender people who are larger than the average woman or older and can’t pass which is totally wrong and sad.

with what is going on with some of us filing a complaint against the P-Club for asking us not to come back because we are transgender there are now video interviews of several of the girls online from the different new channels and as always you can make comments which has given her a hug ability to make these attacks and some are pretty sad and petty. One has to think with the amount of time and effort she spends keeping track of a group she didn’t want to be a part of and the time involved in making these posts and attacks that she must be really unhappy with her own life as she can’t move on and forget about us and the only thing she can do is try to make our lives miserable. It really is sad.

Well any way she has been posting about all the problems we caused at the P-club which we did not and that we deserved to be kicked out which we did not, basically making this whole thing are fault which again it is not so I thought what better way to show this then use her own words as she has left many comments on my blog over the years. I guess she didn’t stop to think that things you put online stay for people to see over and over again. I will put all of them below but I wanted to highlight this comment first as back in February of 2011 we had heard a rumor there was an issue with us being at the P-Club which nothing ever happened and when we asked the bar staff they assured us there was no problems.

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

These are all of her comments and the post she left them on and all were very supportive of the group accept for one which was after she left the group. And they back up how much fun we and her had at the P-Club and that we never caused a problem there. Thanks for reading and allowing me to get this off my chest.

A new path on Friday nights June 23 2012 (notice on this comment no hugs Jennifer)

Your logic is severely flawed, Susan. How do you deduce from my statement that I’m putting down all transgendered people? Nothing in my comment makes a blanket statement towards all transgendered people. It’s obvious tat I was referring specifically to the obnoxious trannys who show up at the P-Club week after week making a spectacle of themselves. How that can be misconstrued as a statement towards all transgendered individuals is beyond my comprehension. Are you insinuating that anybody who considers themselves transgendered is above reproach, and therefore never at fault for anything? That’s silly. My point is simply that you’re fooling yourselves if you think that you were kicked out of the P-Club for any other reason than you own actions. You brought it on yourselves, and now you’re trying to make the owner the bad guy.

Tuesday night finally out again at Starbucks April 26 2011

Oh Susan, speaking of neighbors I am having some funny “neighbor issues” myself lately. There are multiple stories, and they’re a bit lengthy to post them all here, so I’ll have to tell them to you sometime soon. The one that I have to mention really quickly is that I have a new neighbor, and the first time that he met me was when I was dressed as Jennifer as he was moving his stuff in. He was blatantly ogling over my body, then he looked up at my face and I could tell from the look in his eye that he was instantly disgusted. The expression changed on his face so rapidly that it was hilarious, and I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. Days later when he formally met me when I was in guy mode, he refused to shake my hand. Anyway, there is much more to this story, plus a couple of other neighbor stories that I have to tell you sometime. They’re all hilarious, though!

Love the blog, as always!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Awesome Friday with friends March 19 2011

Yes Susan, count me as one of the ones who is definitely going to Diva Las Vegas next year! I’ll definitely miss seeing you the next several Fridays. I can’t make it to the P-Club this Friday because I have to get up really early on Saturday morning. This will be the first Friday that I’ve missed going to the P-Club since mid-December! Yikes! Also, like you, I HATE having my photo taken as a guy. But Jennifer can’t get enough of the camera! So I understand what you mean. It’s is so weird!

Hugs,
Jennifer

A cold night out for the girls here in Portland February 26 2011

Great blog as always, Susan! And yes, Misty already has some photos on the group page. I posted them last Saturday. So she has several of them posted on there, as a matter of fact. Good job of “finding” her, Susan! She is so much fun! Also, it’s not surprising that you get so many hits on your webpage(s). Norma and I were talking about your webpage and blog this past Sunday night, and we were discussing how great we think it is and what a good job that you do. We stop by and read it on an almost daily basis to see updates. Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

6 Weeks to Diva Las Vegas February 16 2011

“People go camping for a week or two but this does not mean they want to live in a tent for the rest of their lives…” Oh my god, that is such a perfect analogy! I love it!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Diva Las Vegas here I come February 5 2011

Well crap, there is no way that I can make Diva Las Vegas this year. Not only do I have a roller derby bout the weekend before, and a race the weekend after, but now I find out that I have to go to Hood River, Oregon for work for two and a half days in the middle of that week! I hardly ever have to travel for my job, but wouldn’t you know it that this would be the year and the week that I have to go out of town. I am DEFINITELY in for next year, though! That gives me plenty of time to schedule the time off and to shop, shop, shop for Vegas clothes. I’m bummed that I can’t make it this year, but put me down for next year for sure!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Passing in public February 2 2011

I am really shocked to read that you feel that you don’t pass, Susan! I’ve always thought of you as passing. I have shown your photo to a number of GG friends of mine and they all swear that you are a GG. As a matter of fact, I got into a heated argument with a GG friend of mine over you because she thought that I was lying to her. It wasn’t until I thought to show her your blog and website that she believed me! Then she was just shocked and kept saying how beautiful you are. Your makeup is always absolutely perfect and your eyes are gorgeous feminine eyes. I think that the eyes have a lot to do with passing. They’re not the only factor, of course, but they’re a big part. I think that you focus on what you perceive to be your flaws (we all do that). For example, you mentioned that you feel that your size has a lot to do with why you feel that you don’t pass. Well, that GG friend of mine who got into a heated argument with me over whether or not you’re a GG, is only 5’3 and 118 lbs., and she swore up and down that you were a GG!!! So your size may only be a factor in your own mind. I know plenty of attractive GG’s that are as tall as or taller than you. I know that we all have our own definition of what “passing” is, but if you cause a big argument between two friends over the identity of your gender, then that’s passing in my book!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Shuffleboard, pool and dancing at the p-club January 29 2011

Great blog, Susan! Yes, it was a different DJ that night, and her music selection wasn’t that great. So I played with my new camera to keep myself busy. It was a great time! Enjoyed finally meeting Alice, too!

Hugs,
Jennifer

New Years eve with friends January 1 2011

Thank you so much for the compliment on the dress! As you know, you are my hero, so any compliment from you means a lot to me! I bought that dress for only $15 at an after Christmas sale at Deb at the Lloyd Center Mall. It was 75% off! It’s my new favorite dress, and it’s the least expensive one that I own! Imagine that. It was my first strapless dress, and it has inspired me, because I’ve since purchased another strapless one to wear on Valentine’s Day! I can’t wait!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Friday at the p-club January 8 2011

Yes Susan, it was a great night (from what I can remember of it)! I danced for hours, over the course of which I drank too much and paid dearly for it the next day. Oh well, I had a blast like I always do with you girls! Thank you so much again for the link to the makeup videos. I watched several of them last night. I like her style a lot, and she is very easy to watch/listen to. And you’re right, she DOES make it look easy! Thanks again and I can’t wait to see you again!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Small group at P-Club November 13 2010

Great blog! You captured the evening perfectly, Susan. And you’re correct, I DID have a great time and I could NOT stop smiling the whole time! So much fun! I can’t wait to go out again! You girls are the best!

Hugs,
Jennifer

August 12, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, P-Club, Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night at fox & hound and CC’s

Well it was not my usual Wednesday night as I have Thursday off I decided to go downtown Portland and meet my friends for dinner at Fox & hound and then some pool at C.C. Slaughters. It was really cold out and when I left I had freezing rain where I live so I almost went back home but I wanted to spend time with friends so even the weather was not going to stop me.

I got to Fox & hound and being a Wednesday evening parking was easy and I found a spot only a half block away which was nice as it was 31 degrees outside. Cass and Wilma got there the same time I did so we all walked in together. There were already some of our group there and by the time we ordered I think we had 10 or 12 of us there all in one big long table. It was a lot of fun and the food was good and so was the service. The waiters were telling us about a benefit drag show they are putting on December 16; they will all be dressing in Drag and performing. Some of the girls from the group are planning on going but being a Thursday night I probably won’t make it. After dinner we all walked around the corner to CC Slaughters.

CC Slaughters was not really busy when we got there which I expected as it was a Wednesday evening. We went back by the pool table and put our names on the board to play. I was amazed how many girls from our group came out. As a matter of fact I lost count but would guess it was close to 25 maybe more. We all talked and played pool and some even danced. By 9:30 they were pretty crowded.

When it was my turn to play pool I got to play Veronica. I had a really good game and made some really good shots and won the game. The funny and scary part was about half way through the game as I walked around the table I almost walked right into someone I use to work with about 2 years ago. I quickly looked back at the pool table and the fact it was not real bright inside he didn’t get a good look at me but it really startled me. I have seen people I know when I have been out as Susan but this is as close as I have come to them, we literally almost bumped into each other face to face. My second game of pool was against Cass. Cass won but I did make a good game of it.

For a little while I was nervous after seeing him but soon relaxed and had a great time. It really was a fun night out with friends. I stayed out till almost 1:30.

My work schedule has changed some and I probably won’t make it out on Wednesday nights till after the first of the year. I really like my night out at Starbucks so I am thinking of trying Tuesday or Thursday nights or may even mix them. That way I have a little variety in my nights out. Problem is my Susan time is dependent on free time from my male side.

I would like to wish you all A Happy Thanksgiving.

November 25, 2010 Posted by | Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday Night at Harvey’s Comedy club

Well I went out on Saturday night with the girls from my group Rose_City_T-Grils. Cassandra got tickets to Harvey’s Comedy club and it is always fun so I managed to trade to get off work so I could go.

We started off by meeting at Oasisba Asian Fusion & Bar (1639 NW Glisan), I have never been there but some of the girls have been. They remodeled a few weeks ago and put a small stage in. the waitresses are transgender and also perform on the stage. Phaedra one of the Drag queens who use to work at Embers works here now, she is also a member of our group so she invited us. We met there at 6 pm which is early for me but somehow I made it by 6. Phaedra greeted me as I came in and we put some tables together as I was not sure how many would make it. As it turned out we had 9 that showed up. Victoria, Petra, Cassandra, Peggy, Teresa, Wilma, Mira, Roxy and I were all there and we sat with Phaedra’s mom as she was in town to visit her daughter. Some had dinner the rest of us just some drinks. Now I am not a big fan of spicy food so I chose not to eat here but don’t let that be how you judge them. Several of the girls said the food was really really good so if you do like Asian food please give them a try. The atmosphere is really nice and they have a big mirror on the back wall so you can watch the show no matter which way you are facing. In all it was a nice place to go for dinner and a show.

From here we went down to Casey’s which is a small bar just around the corner from Embers. The plan was to meet here at 7:30 as the second stop on our night out. When we got here Jan, Lyn, Cristine and Barb were there and our group was almost complete. Now I have been here once before and it has a nice atmosphere but is mainly a bar, they do have a pool table and I think they do have some food but not sure as we didn’t eat here. A few of the girls did play some pool but most of us just talked. We stayed here till a little after 9 and then we all walked the 8 blocks down to Harvey’s. A little chilly but fun to see a group of us walking down the street.

We got to Harvey’s and got our tickets and went in to the bar to wait till the doors open for the 10 PM show. We only had to wait about 15 minutes till they started seating us for the show. They had a good crowd so we couldn’t all go in at the same time. Cristine was the first one in and told them we had a group of 16 so they got us 4 tables together which was nice as being in one big group is always more fun. Wendy and Nadine showed up to meet us at Harvey’s, Wendy was in boy mode and took me a minute to realize who she was of course if she had been with her wife Nadine when I first saw her I would have know instantly. So we actually had 15 for the show and wow I am so proud of myself, as I remembered everyone by name so I guess I am getting better at putting faces to names.

Now Harvey’s is pretty nice but there prices are a little high but then again you are getting a really good show so I guess it is not that bad. I was a little hungry so Barb and I split an order of chicken tenders, as I said a little bit pricey but was really good. The main Comedian was Dante and he had to opening acts, one of which was his girlfriend. The shows were really good and Dante was probably the best which makes sense as he was the headliner. He was also the comedian the first time we went there last winter so of course some of the jokes we had heard before. If you have never seen his show at the end he does some impersonations and they are awesome. I would highly recommend going to his show if you get the chance and as for Harvey’s a really nice place to go for good entertainment. After the show Cassandra and Wilma talked with Dante for a bit and on the way out his girlfriend talked to me and a couple others. They were very nice and thanked us for coming which was really nice.

As we left for our walk back there was two girls and a guy outside and one of the girls wanted to get a picture with me and of course Susan never turns down a photo opt so we posed while her friend took a couple pictures and of course I had to dig out my camera so I could have a picture. She thanked me for taking a picture with her. I have posted the picture as it has been awhile sense I posted a new picture. Not a really great one as my flash didn’t work, low batteries but still a new picture.

The walk back was a lot chillier then the walk there as it was after midnight when the show ended but still a fun night. We got back and all said our goodbyes. I gave Roxy a ride to her car as she had some new shoes, 4″ heels and after the 8 blocks back to Casey and then 2 more to where Cassandra and I had parked she still had 5 more blocks and we didn’t want her walking downtown by herself at that time of night, not a good idea for anyone, male or female. It was a really fun night.

A big thanks to Cassandra for getting the tickets.

October 17, 2010 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club, Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night @ P-club talk should you tell your spouse.

Well another fun Friday night out with my friends. This week we all went to the P-club formerly known as Portsmouth. They changed their name and menu to try to bring in more business. They still have good food but I liked their pizza and especially their cheesy bread better. As for business they did seem busier then they have been in the past although can’t say for sure if it was the name change and new menu, only time will tell on that. I got there about 7:40 and Cassandra, Wilma, Michele and Steph were already there and had a couple tables over by the pool tables so I joined them. So nice to go out and know your friends will be there. By 8 Cristine and Chris had shown up and that was it for our group, one of our smaller turnouts, not sure why although Saturday night 16 of us are going to Harvey’s comedy club again for their show so maybe some decided to go out on Saturday night instead. I got lucky and was able to call in a favor and get someone to cover me for Saturday night so I will also go out and enjoy the comedy club which is always fun. Although we didn’t have a big turnout it was nice as it made it easier to chat with everyone in the group and we could all join in on one conversation.

I got a chance to talk a little with Steph, she is new to the group joined about 6 months ago and this was her first time out with the group although she has gone out before on her own. She seemed really nice and I hope she continues to come out and join us. Her only hold back is her wife does not know so she can’t get out as often as she would like. We played some pool and I won a game against Cassandra, well she scratched on the 8 ball but it still counts as a win. My next game against Michele I lost but came close to winning. We did have fun but didn’t play as much pool as normal instead we had some good conversation you know girl talk and what could be more fun. Some of the conversation was pretty involved from politics to Dinosaurs to outer space and UFO; I know not what you would expect us to talk about but still fun. Probably the most interesting conversation was around how some of the girls told their partners and if and when you should tell so I thought I would give my thoughts on this.

Now just so everyone knows I am not married but hope to some day and I did come close a couple times, so please keep in mind I have never truly faced telling a spouse. Now for me my dressing was not the reason I broke up with anyone and although I never told any of the woman I dated I did hint at it to gage how they might react as for me I would have to tell the woman I was going to marry beforehand. Of course that is what I know and believe now as I know I will never stop being Susan part time, she is part of me and what make me who I am.

Now some of the girls in the group have come out to their wives and as you would expect some went really well and others did not and ended in divorce which is sad but something you must be aware of if you plan on telling your spouse. There are also those who never tell their spouses, we have a few girls in our group that only come out when their wives are out of town and this works for them. I guess the big question is how much of a part of your life is being a t-girl. For me a couple years ago going out 3 to 4 times a year and dressing around the house when I could was fine and I was happy. Now the time I dress at home is nice but nothing like going out and twice a week works wonderful for me, for one it breaks up my week and helps relax me and gives me something to really look forward to which I believe is healthy for a person. Everyone has their own needs and has to decide if and when they want to tell their souse and I guess the biggest factor would be how much this impacts your spouse. Now for me what I feel would be right for my life is this and remember this is my opinion only and how it applies to me.

When I was younger I thought if I met that right person I would stop being Susan, now I know that won’t happen. For a brief while I thought I would just hide it and only dress occasionally but Susan is too big a part of my life to do that so I would feel I have to tell them before. But when, before the marriage, engagement or early on in dating. Well I guess as time has passed for me it has gotten earlier in the relationship. Now right now I am not seeing anyone so it is easy for me to say this. For me I would think early in my relationship would be best, not as soon as I meet the person but once you feel there could be something more permanent between me and her. That is when I think (would want to) tell her if I didn’t chicken out. The reason for me are these, do I want to put the effort and work into a relationship (relaitionionships take a lot of work if they are going to last) on to find at some point something I hid ended it, seems like a waste of time. Also for me Susan would have an impact on any woman I might be involved with as Susan is as much a part of my life and who I am as my male self and I know that will always be so just hiding her in the closet would not work for me. so right now not being involved with anyone I think I would tell them as soon as I felt we were getting to be more than just friends, easy to say right now.

The last reason is the biggest and that is fear of this part of my life getting out. Now it is true once you tell someone you have no control over who finds out, but early on in the relationship I think would be better. First you are being honest and open and the woman I am seeing would not have that deep involvement yet so there wouldn’t be the hurt feelings as much as if you wait till later. Now don’t get me wrong she will either hate this part of which I am, tolerate it or maybe hopefully like it but whatever the outcome I think earlier is better. Early in the relationship she can decide if she can live with this part of me or walk away. Once you get deep into the relationship or even get married she may feel trapped or that if you lied about this else have you lied about and if there is a break up she is way more likely to tell people about this part of my life. Early in relationships that end most people don’t even bother with the question why and usually the answer is “well it just wasn’t right or we needed different things”. On the other hand in divorces everyone usually plays the blame game as you have friends together you are trying to keep, maybe children and of course the money and property so if you can blame the other person and make yourself look the best that is what you do. I really believe in this situation anyone would tell as the goal is make the other person look bad.

So I guess for me my best hope would be meet a woman while I am out as Susan that way she knows from the start but I realize this probably won’t happen and with that said Right know I plan on telling any woman I might date as soon as I feel we may have something long term. I would love to hear from others and see what their thoughts are and how you have dealt with this in your life as it might give me a better understanding on marriage as I have never been married yet. Would also love input from any genetic woman out there as you are the ones who really hold the key to understanding this issue for me.

Have a wonderful weekend all. One last thing, someone found the link to the t-girl group I belong to and joined from my blog which is wonderful so I thought I would put the link again Rose_City_T-Girls in case anyone else would like to join. Please check it out and read the membership requirements as there are not many but they are enforced.

October 16, 2010 Posted by | Advice and tips, Portsmouth Pizza & Pub, Rose_City_T-Girls | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday 10-13-10 at Starbucks

Well it is Wednesday and of course I am out at my Favorite Starbuck’s. It is that time of year now that it is getting colder at night so of course now Susan has to take her little jacket with her when she goes out. I really need to get me a nice winter coat for Susan this year.

Well onto the big thing on my mind, Halloween. It is just 18 days away and I still have no costume or even an idea of what I want to be. I also am getting busy again at work and will probably miss next Wednesday and the last Friday of the month as I traded that night to get Saturday night the 30 off to go to a party at Cassandra and Peggy’s house. They go all out for these parties and ask nothing in return. I will of course bring some snacks like a veggie tray or something and maybe something to drink plus give me a good excuse to go into a store in my costume that is if I can come up with something. I know I could dress up as a girl, wait I already do that so not such a good idea. Well still have some time.

It is strange thinking back a few years when all I could think about was Halloween as it was a chance to be Susan and go out, now I go out so much as Susan that I really want a cute costume and not just dressing up feminine. My how things have changed for Susan. So I guess I will pose a question to those of you who read my blog. For those who are in the gender community do you dress up in costumes or just use Halloween as an excuse to go out in you female (or male for t-guys)? For years Halloween was Susan’s biggest night of the year and now it is the nights I get out with all my friends so in that way Halloween has lost a little of the fun for me, don’t get me wrong it is still probably my favorite holiday but the reasons have changed. Any way would love to hear what your thoughts are on Halloween plus if you have any ideas for costumes please feel free to post them.

Well back to my night here, Starbucks has been pretty steady and most of the tables have people at them. It still amazes me how busy they are especially with all the coffee shops around. There are so many and I admit I drive by probably 6 other Starbucks to get to this one. I know what you are thinking why drive so far, well at first I wanted to go away from where I lived as I really didn’t want to run into anyone I know, which by the way I have here twice now but they didn’t notice me or at least didn’t say anything about it to me. But more than that is the fact that the girls who work at this one are all so awesome and treat me really well right down to remembering what I like to drink. Maybe I should order something different sometime just to throw them off, you know change it up a little. Now to be honest every Starbucks I have gone to I have been treated well and just like any other customer but as I have come here so many times over the last year and know most of the girls (not by name) but still there is a comfortable safe feeling here and that really means a lot. There has been a lot of talk lately in my group here (Rose_City_T-Girl) about places to go where we feel safe or wanted. Seems there were some other issues at the Candlelight, I guess some threats were made against us by a couple of the customers and even a bottle thrown at one of our group. I didn’t know about this and it has made our whole group rethink going there. Now I am the first to stand up and say we shouldn’t be chased off but when it comes to personal safety one must really think about the benefit to reward and is it worth it. There are so many places we can go where we are accepted and even wanted. The bad thing is the Candlelight was a fun place to go and we always had fun there. Any way enough about that.

I guess I should also give a pitch for our T-girl group, Rose_City_T-Girls. It is such a fun group and really has some awesome members. If you are transgender (Crossdresser, t-girl, transsexual, the significant other or just an admirer of transgender) and live in the Portland/Vancouver metro area of Oregon or travel here you are welcome to join. The only rule is you must have a face picture either on a yahoo profile (yahoo group) or be willing to send in a picture to post in the group photo which is only viewable by members if privacy is a concern. Now I am not sure of the total makeup of the group right now as we now have 168 members but ruff guess would be 10 to 15 significant others, 10 admirers and maybe 5 just friends of members and the rest transgender in one way or another. Feel free to check out the main page (all you can see without being a member) the main page tells you about the group and more information on joining. The group has helped so many to come out more including me. 3 years ago I was lucky to get out 4 or 5 times a year and was always nervous and now it is twice a week and I feel pretty relaxed most of the time. Having a support group is awesome. If you don’t live in the area see if there is a group where you live as it really will make a difference, if not why mot start one where you live. Our group was started by Cassandra 3 years ago as a way to bring t-girls together and have a way to know when and where others would be out so you didn’t have to worry about going out and being by yourself. What a simple and wonderful idea she had and we all are so grateful she did this.

Well I need to catch up on some other things here before they close for the night. I hope you all have a great week and thanks so much for reading my blog.

October 13, 2010 Posted by | halloween, Rose_City_T-Girls, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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