Made it to Starbucks again finally

Well it has been another busy week for my male self. I was planning on coming to Starbuck’s tomorrow night but I have a meeting so at the last minute I decided tonight was my chance. I got all dressed up and was out the door earlier than normal when I come here so actually made it before 7. They are all done with their remodel and it really looks nice inside. They are also pretty busy as there was only one table open and I had to stand in line. The cool thing is it is almost all women here tonight only 3 men and about 15 women so I guess Starbuck’s tonight is a ladies night out.

It is strange as it has been awhile since I have been here. Looking back through my blog, one of the cool things about having a blog I can see the last time I was here was 5 weeks ago. For some reason I was thinking it had only been 3 weeks, my how time flies. It is relaxing to sit here and play on my computer, surf the internet, catch up on e-mails while enjoying a nice warm drink. It really is amazing how relaxing and comfortable I feel here.

I have been reading some of my friend’s blogs and posts on their facebook page about Diva Las Vegas. It sounds like they all had such a fun time and so many great pictures. I can’t wait for the Diva Las Vegas web page to post all the pictures. They usually give as month or two for people who attended to submit their pictures and then the same for those who attended to check them out and request to remove any of the ones with them in it as some girls want or need privacy and I know we have all been there at one time or another. I hope they will have them on their page by the fall. You can always check out the past years as they really have a lot of picture. It is a really fun week if you ever want to take a vacation as a girl.

Now I have gotten a few e-mails from other t-girls who I assume are just starting out wondering why I like to dress and I guess why they like to dress. I have done a lot of thinking on this over the years and all I can say is there is no one answers for everyone. We are all individuals and as such the reasons I dress may or may not be the same for others. There are some common areas that talking with other crossdressers I have found. Mostly it just feels right, I find it very relaxing. I can dress up as Susan and for a few hours I really am a different person, not a duel or split personality as I choose when and am always in control kind of like an actor or actress would play a part. But it is a great way to get away from any problems or issues in my life, what I call my mini vacations. As Susan I have a group of friends that are separate from my male side and his friends. It really is a great hobby and that is just how I view it. I have friends who play sports, camp, hike, fish, cook or any number of things to relax and for me it is being Susan. There really is no difference other than I think my hobby is way more fun. By the way I also like to camp, hike, fish and play some sports just my Susan time is the most fun for me.

Now as I said there are differences, one of the biggest for me is pictures. My male side hates his picture being taken but Susan loves the camera. It really is funny as I was going through all my pictures on my computer and it really shows. I found two pictures of my male self, both with an ex-girlfriend from 7 years ago, that is it. Now on the other hand Susan has over 2,000 pictures dating back to when I first started dressing which by the way is pre digital camera. Back when I would take pictures and have to have the film developed and then I would scan them into my computer before destroying the picture. I so love digital cameras so much easier and way cheaper. I was talking with some of my friends last week at the P-Club about this and it is funny as most of them are the same. Very few picture of their male self but hundreds if not thousands of their female side. I think girls are just more photogenic.

Now even with the differences between how I cat and dress deep down I am the same person. I think the same, now I will admit that I probably lean more to the female gender (feelings) but I think that is just normal for me, I tend to have a softer side and outlook on life. I like pretty things and I like all kinds of movies from the action adventure to what most people would call a chick flick. I really think it makes me a more rounded person as I can see both sides and enjoy it all. Sharing both male and female sides gives one a unique perspective on life in general.

It is funny as today at work there was a couple arguing and the woman told the guy with her, “you just don’t understand what woman deal with” and I was thinking to myself maybe he does. I know I don’t understand everything about being a woman but I do know a lot. It is hard work to always look good, makeup, hair, clothes. My male side can get up in the morning, eat a bowl of cereal. Shower and dress and be out the door in less than thirty minutes. Susan on the other hand needs a lot more time. Just my makeup can take 30 minutes or more.

Well must get back to my e-mails now. This Friday I will of course be out with my friends at the P-Club. We go there every week but for me it is not about where we go but spending time with my friends as that is so important. I really think having good friends to spend time with and it does not matter if you are male, female or transgender is what makes life awesome and fun and keeps you healthy and happy. So that is my tip for a healthy happy life, make some good friends and remember a friendship is just like a relationship, there will be good and bad times and it takes work but the work is well worth the effort because a true friend is always there for you.

Have a great rest of the week.

Wednesday night dinner with friends.

Well it has been another busy week for my male self leaving little time for Susan but as I cannot get out Friday night I really wanted to get out during the week. Now I was planning on going to Starbuck as it has been a long time since I have been there but something more important came up. Wednesday was Cassandra and Roxy’s birthday and as they always go out for dinner and then to a club on Wednesdays I decided to surprise them. It really was a last minute option so I had to rush to get ready. Now being nice again I was worried about my neighbors being out so I kept looking out the windows and sure enough the 5 neighbor kids were all playing ball in the street right in front of my house.

Well I was already by 6:30 and chose my purple dress and heels as I wanted to look really cute. Looking out the front window 3 of the kids were still playing in the street. You have heard of being all dressed up and no place to go, here I was all dressed up with some place I wanted to go and no way to get out of the house without driving right through them. Really it was only a moment when the 3 of them ran into their garage and I ran for my car in my garage and was out the door. As I turned out of my drive onto the street I could see them coming back out from their house but I just kept going as they would not get a good look at me and they were more interested in playing. I can see as the summer goes on it will be harder for this girl to get out unseen.

Now the plan was to meet at the House of Louie which is a Chinese restaurant in Old Town Portland for dinner at 7 and then go over to Boiler Room for Karaoke and pool around 9 which is when I planned to leave as Work starts early for me. The other cool thing is I have never been to the House of Louie so this is a new place for Susan. I found a parking spot about a block. It was a nice warm evening for the walk and to the House of Louie and I was stopped twice by woman who told me how beautiful I looked, what girl doesn’t love to hear that. Well I got inside and Cristine was the only one there so I joined her and we waited.

It wasn’t long before the two birthday girls, Cassandra and Roxy showed up along with Chris and yes they were surprised to see me out on a Wednesday night. We talked for a bit before we ordered. The food was so good and there was so much that we couldn’t eat it all. It was a really fun night.

About 8:30 Victoria Sinclair, Marla and her girlfriend showed up and joined us. It was so great to see them out again. Victoria has been coming out a lot the last couple weeks after not being able to get out for a while. Well they ordered some food so this gave us a chance to sit and talk more. It really is amazing how fast the time went. The last two to show up were Joan and Bob. Well most of the food was gone and time to leave but not before some pictures of the birthday girls and yea I had to get in one of them.

Well we all left together and walked to the corner before I said my goodbye’s and went to my car. It was almost 9:30 so just a little later than I planned on being out but so worth it. I may have to try to go out with them on Wednesday every once in a while.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

Cinco de Mayo party 2012

Well it is Saturday night and time for our yearly Cinco de Mayo party that Kathy, Mandie and Danielle; the three of them host it each year for the last three and do a wonderful job. Well as I don’t really have any outfits that would fit with Cinco de Mayo I decided to wear my black wig and do my makeup a little more dramatic. Now being a nice day I was worried some of my neighbors might be outside and as I know they have seen a blonde driving my car having black hair this time might cause them to really look a little closer but only a couple were out down the street and I really don’t know them that well so no problems.

It was a 45 minute drive but so worth the trip. I got there right at 6:30 and there were already a few girls there and they even had a DJ playing music. Now I was going to get lots of pictures and what better way than to start with our hostess Kathy, her and Danielle had matching dresses except that Danielle’s was pink and white and very cute, I really like pink. Well the party was already off to a great start. My first stop was the bar to get a drink and what better for Cinco de Mayo than a nice cold Sprite. I know not your normal party drink but then I am not a big drinker. From there it was time for some food. There was so much food and all looked so wonderful. They had all the makings for tacos which I love so I had a few never mind how many and of course they also had wonderful deserts which this girl could not pass up. Probably why I need to go on a diet.

More girls started to show up and by 7:30 the house was full, I think this was the biggest turnout that we have had at their home. Kristy showed up in a really cute black dress and she brought a friend she had gone to high school with. Her name was Jina. Kristy had come out to her and her husband a while back and they were totally okay with her dressing so she came to the party with her to meet all of us ladies. She was a lot of fun and I enjoyed talking with her and of course there had to be a picture. We also had the same color pink toenail polish. Over her shoulder is Christy she is Diane’s friend that came out Friday night and so nice. Any way Jina and I talked about her daughter and also about why I and some of the others dress, you know just your everyday girl talk. Still not sure about the black wig on me.

Peggy could not make the party but Cassandra had a life size picture of Peggy on the wall in the living room so all the girls took turns getting their picture taken with her so it was almost like she was there. Now there were two funny things at the party and names will be left out but I just have to include them. One of the girls in the kitchen had on these really awesome 6″ heels well on the wood floor her feet slipped and she fell back on her behind, didn’t get hurt but was a little embarrassed about it. I told her no one really saw it and after a bit no one would remember it which was true as about 30 minutes later another one of the girls went to go outside to the deck and didn’t see the screen door and walked right into it and put her heel right through it. These are all such great memories as we have all done things like this at one point or another.

Robyn from Seattle was down for the party which was really nice as she doesn’t get ton Portland that often so I really look forward to talking with her when I can. She was our bar tender for a while and did a great job. Sophia and Lorna also made it too which was nice, they get out every few weeks and always nice to see them and talk with them.

Lori was also there, she is Kathy and Mandie’s friend and is also totally okay with all us ladies. She is really awesome and fun to talk with. We had a good chance to talk in the kitchen for about 20 minutes or so. We had a good talk and I explained why I dress and about all the differences between the girls. We all share the love of dressing but the reasons we dress can very as we are a very diverse group. It really is cool that there are GG’s out there that are fine with a man expressing his feminine side.

Now I really made an effort to talk to everyone there at some point and for once I think I did get a chance to talk to everyone. I even met Rosalynda for the first time. She has gone out with the group before but not on nights I have been able to go out so it was nice to actually get a chance to talk with her.

Victoria Sinclair and Petra also showed up and it has been a log times since they have made it out with the group. It was so nice to chat with them. They also brought a girl I think her name was April who was in town and had Victoria give her a makeover. She looked really good and it was nice to meet her and chat with her for a bit.

Later on Brooke even showed up and so I had to get a picture with her also. It was nice to see her out again as she has been going through a lot lately. Now I am not sure how many showed up for the party but would guess at least 50 and yes we all had a wonderful time. I wish to Thank Kathy, Mandie and Danielle for opening their home for such a wonderful party. I often wonder what their neighbors must think with all these tall girls there.

Well it was getting late and time for me to leave so I said all my goodbyes. Rosalynda lives not far from me and on my way home so I gave her a ride which gave us a chance to talk a little more. She is really nice and I hope she comes out more with the group.

It was a fun night but went by way to fast. Next Saturday will be Harvey’s comedy club and of course our normal Friday night at the P-Club. I even hope to get to Starbucks again this week.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.

Pedicure day for Susan

Well after staying out way to late last night I got up early, 8 am to get ready for my pedicure. I was meeting Peggy at Glamorous nails in Beaverton (Glamorous Nails 17475 SW Farmington Rd, Beaverton Or. 97007 503-848-8259). Peggy had made us appointments at 11 am. Now I know what you are saying, 3 hours before my appointment, yes. First under normal driving conditions it is a 45 minute drive there for me. Second I still had on some of the makeup from last night so there would be a little extra time to my 1 to 1 ½ hours getting ready as I need to do a really good job as I will be out in the day light. Last I really needed to make sure my legs were shaved really good as part of the pedicure is a leg message and I did not want any hairs visible or stubble. Last night I had on panty hose and no one was touching my legs so I was not as careful in this area.

I wore white capris, aqua top and of course my flip flops. Now I am not at all a fan of flip flops as a matter of fact I have never owned a pair till last fall when I bought them for my first pedicure and this will only be the third time I have worn them also my third pedicure so I think you get the idea. You really need them when you get a pedicure if you don’t want to mess up your pretty little toes afterwards.

Well I was ready to leave right at 10, now being a Saturday and not raining I wondered who would be outside. I opened my garage and didn’t see anyone so I was off. The drive was nice and I hit a little traffic so it was about 10:55 when I parked my car and got out. It was perfect timing as Peggy was just getting out of her car so we walked in together. Now I have gone to this Salon several times before and always treated well there so I was not the least bit nervous. That being said I normally go on Monday mornings not Saturday which is probably their busiest day.

Peggy and I picked out our colors, now I really love red nail polish but being spring and wanting a change as I think my toes have been red for over a year now I chose a really hot bright pink color. Now if you have never had a pedicure you really need to get one. Yes it cost money and you can easily paint your own toes for far less money but it is all about the experience, they trim your nails and soak your feet. They message your feet and lower legs. They use a scrub to remove dead skin, oils. Lotions and then finally paint your toes. It takes about 45 minutes and well worth the $25 my legs look better then they have since the last pedicure and the skin feels so soft and silky. Plus they put you in a chair that gives back messages also. I wish I had known about this years ago.

Now as I said this is my third time going but first time with someone else along with me. Having someone with you makes it so much more fun, Peggy and I sat there talking and having such a fun time. It really made the whole experience better. Peggy is awesome and such a wonderful friend, we will have to do this again. Here are a couple pictures but the pink really does not look as bright in the pictures as they do in real life especially when the bright sun shine hits them. After they painted our toes we sat there for about 15 minutes waiting for them to dry enough before putting our flip flops back on and leaving.

After we left we were going over to Kathy’s house and we were going out to lunch with Kathy and Glen so we left may car there and Peggy drove as I had no idea how to get to Kathy’s. We chatted for a few minutes then all 4 of us got in Kathy’s car and off we went for lunch. We went to Coyote’s bar & grill which is only a mile or less away. We had a nice relaxing lunch and just talked. I ordered the Club sandwich which was awesome even though I only ate half of it and took the rest home for dinner. Now I all know you are all thinking how good I was not to over eat but truth be told the sandwich was huge and there was no way to get it in my mouth ladylike plus it was destroying my lipstick. I figured I could eat the other half at home where no one would see me eating. For lunch I used my Susan credit card as our waitress was nice enough to separate out everyone’s lunch.

We got back to Kathy’s house and talked a bit out front about her Cinco de Mayo part Saturday before Peggy and I got back in her car. She drove me back to the nails salon where my car was. We chatted for a few minutes before I got out and then it was the drive home as my day as Susan was coming to an end. Now the drive home there was all kinds of traffic and it actually took me 1 hour and 10 minutes to get home. Now as I got close to home I started to wonder if any of my neighbors would be out. There really wasn’t much I could do once I turned down my street, even so I wasn’t that worried about it. The only ones I saw was my new neighbors across the street, well not really new as they moved in last December but I only met them last weekend when we were both out in our yards working. They came over and introduced themselves. They seem really nice but know that they have met me and know I am single I have to worry about them seeing a blonde woman driving my car. Well they were working in their garage so I doubt if they really saw me backing into my garage.

Well now at home I am staying Susan for a bit while I write my blog. I don’t normally like to be Susan at home as friends and family drop by from time to time unannounced and some of my family has keys to the house as I let them store things in my garage so I am sitting in the front room with the curtains cracked so I can see if a car pulls into my drive, that way I can be upstairs and jump in the shower if needed. Well the reason I am telling you all this is while I was sitting here my door bell rang. No car in the drive and it appears I did not notice whoever it was walking up to the door but since I can see out they can see in and must have seen me. Well I panicked and ran upstairs and looked out the window to see who walked away. Now I realize if it was one of my neighbors that walked over they must be wondering first who the girl was and why I didn’t answer the door. Well it turns out it was just some guy going door to door so I lucked out this time.

It was an awesome day, Thanks Peggy for getting a pedicure with me, and yes I now have really pretty feet again. The pink is cute and spring like but I really like the red colors so next time will probably do a red again but then again some other color might catch my eye. Who knows plus it is the right of a girl to change her mind.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the weekend.

Relaxing night at Starbuck’s

Well still really busy for this poor girl but I had the chance to come to Starbuck’s tonight so I did. I had actually planed on being out last night but got home late from work. The bright side is I got off a little earlier today so here I am. They are remodeling so I think they are closeting at 8 now so had to get here a little early.

It is strange how comfortable and relaxing it is to just sit here with a warm drink and play on my computer. I know it does not make sense to get all dressed up, spend the hour to hour in a half to get ready, drive 20 minutes to spend 1 ½ to 2 hours here and then go home but I enjoy it. Strange as when I am here other than seeing my nails and bracelets I don’t even think about being dressed as Susan.

I try to explain this to others as it seems so simple to me, but not everyone understands it. I guess if you really enjoy something then all the effort is worth it. I have friends that spend a ton of money and time on their hobbies and things they like and for me it is the same thing although I don’t spend a ton of money on Susan, but I could as there are so many cute outfits, heels and makeup. It is true it is way more expensive to be a girl but also a lot more fun.

Well it will be another fun week as I will be out 3 nights in a row, tonight of course and then Friday night with my friends at the P-Club. It is always a fun night as what is important is spending time with my friends. Now you could say going to the same place every week could get old and boring but what for me it is the people that make it fun. The P-Club is a safe and accepting place to go where those who are new to going out can go and feel comfortable. And for those of us that are now comfortable going out almost any place there are lots of things to do there.

On Saturday night this week we will be going to Harvey’s Comedy Club again, right now we have 5 that are going for sure and 4 others who might go so it could be a smaller group this month. They put on a really good show and always treat us wonderful. Even the staff likes us and always asks us to come back which always feels nice. We will meet at the Fox & Hound between 7 & 8 for dinner and then about 8:30 walk the 8 blocks to Harvey’s. We do this as parking is usually better by Fox & Hound plus the walk is nice. Walking down the street like any other woman is fun and we have never had a problem.

Well Diva Las Vegas starts in 10 days and I will not be going this year which is sad but Cassandra and Cristine are going. Cristine has not been to Las Vegas in like 40 years so she is really excited. They are going to Drive to LA on Friday before and spend Friday and Saturday nights there before going to Las Vegas on Sunday and then do the same thing on the way home. The same trip we did two years ago. The only difference is they are going to a dodgers Baseball game on the last Sunday. The game gets over at 5 pm and they will drive part way home and finish the trip Monday. Going to a Baseball game as Susan would be so much fun, something I have not done.

I have been reading all the post about Diva Alas Vegas and what they have planed, dinners, shows, this year they are going to Phantom of the Opera which would be so much fun. Cassandra and Cristine are going to this, they better get pictures. It really is a fun time and there is still time to register. Registration closes on April 15 so if you are thinking of going you better register quickly.

Well must be going as they are closing now.

Thanks for reading

    

Saturday night social

Well it has been another long week and no time for Susan so I was really looking forward to Saturday night as Cassandra and Peggy have started having a monthly social. The social started at 7 which would mean leaving my house by 6, now today was a beautiful day out nice and sunny and warm so no need for a coat. I so love the sun shine as it just makes you feel so much better but then there are also problems as more people are out when it is nice. I was already to leave and looked out, my neighbor was mowing his yard and there were kids were out front playing in the street. Now a few years ago I would never have left hope completely dressed on such s sunny day with people outside for fear they would see me. Now I am not saying I still don’t have that same fear but I realize at some point no matter how cautious I am one of them is going to see me. So I am still cautious but I am unwilling to let it stop me from being who I am. With that I took a quick look outside and the kids had moved up the street a little in the opposite direction of how I would go so all I had to worry about was my neighbor mowing his lawn and I hoped that he was busy enough that he would not notice so I drove off.

I got to Cassandra & Peggy’s house about 6:45; Teresa was already there so I parked right behind her and went in. Cassandra was already but Peggy was finishing up her hair, I guess wigs are a little easier and faster than doing your own hair. We stood around and talked for a while, it was great to See Teresa again as she does not get out on Fridays very much.

Cassandra and I talked about Diva Las Vegas, she is defiantly going and Cristine is going with her. They will have such a fun time. I am still so sad I can’t go this year. It starts in 14 days so if you are interested in going not much time to sign up. It is strange though as I have no desire to transition or live full time as Susan but I do love spending the 10 days living full time. I also will not be able to get Acrylic nails for the trip which is something I really love. I will have to take a week off at some point before the end of the year and get them done. I really need a pedicure something else I was going to do before I went, I was talking to Peggy and we may try to go together and get pedicures in the next few weeks so that will be a lot of fun.

About 7:15 others started showing up, we were standing in the kitchen just talking and having a good time. I finally moved as I was standing right next to the chips and dip and as long as it was in reach I knew I would keep eating them. I guess that is why I am having trouble losing weight. A little while later we all chipped in some money and ordered some pizza from Dominos. Veronica and Teresa went and picked them up. Now I love Pizza but eating pizza without messing up your lipstick is a little difficult, in the end I had to put some more lipstick on which is okay and I managed not to smear it which is really what I was worried about. Being a girl is hard sometimes. After we ate the pizza I had piece of Peggy’s Chocolate cake, it was so good.

After we ate we started playing Jenga, Cassandra has a jumbo Jenga set which is always so much fun. We had so much fun, on the first game we got to 33 layers high before tipping it over, the next game was over on the 4 turn. It was just a really fun night. It is so awesome Cassandra and Peggy will open their home for us to all get together, You two are awesome and I want to thank you so much. I would guess we have 30 there and it was so nice to be able to visit with all my wonderful friends.

I had planned on staying till 12 as I had to get up early but we all know how that goes. I was having so much fun I just could leave, just one more game of Jenge which turned into 3 and before I knew it it was almost 1:30 so it was a short night. I said my goodbyes and left. Such a fun night.

This next week I really want to go out to Starbucks even though they are closing early because of their remodel, may try for Wednesday night if I can get there by 6 so I still have a couple hours. I aqlso will be out at the P-Club next Friday which is always fun and Saturday the group is going to Harvey’s comedy club so I also plan on doing that so hopefully will have 3 nights out this week.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

Wet and rainy night out at Starbuck’s

Well it has been another busy week for me. I almost didn’t make it out tonight as I am working 6 days a week for the next couple weeks which means not much time for Susan but the extra money will allow Susan to go shopping in the future which makes it worth it. It is a really a wet and rainy night so spending time here at Starbuck’s with a nice hot drink is perfect. I managed to get here a little earlier tonight which was nice as I could park right in front and had my choice of tables to sit at. Seems a lot of people thought the same as I did because it was only a few minutes after I got here that people started coming in and now most of the tables are full. The girls working tonight told me they are going to remodel this Starbucks starting next week and there will be nights they will close at 8 pm because of it. It could interfere with my nights out here. I will have to get more information on what nights.

Well as I said in my last post I will not be able to attend Diva Las Vegas this year which is sad as it is so much fun. I will miss seeing the girls I have met there and kept in touch with by Facebook. I will have to look forward to next year and also reading about this year from the other girls and seeing the pictures. If you are thinking about going sign up now as those signed up by March 31 will have the first chance to sign up for event’s. Most don’t fill up but a few do so the sooner you register the better. Last count I think they had 171 registered. This could be their biggest year yet.

Being crowded here at Starbucks is both good and bad. It is nice to have a lot of people here to interact with and really no one even pays attention to me here so I guess I pass as far as they treat me as just one of the crowd. The bad part is the more people the louder it is as people have to talk to be heard so it can get a little loud at times.

I was just thinking the other day and wondered how we come to decide what is male and female dress? I mean after all, take long nails, both men and woman have finger nails so why is it that woman can grow them long and paint them pretty colors and men can’t. It seems so unfair that just because of the sex you were born to dictates what you can and can’t wear. It is funny as I was reading a friends blog, crossacting and it seems she was watching TV and noticed that in the animal kingdom it is usually the male of the species that is colorful. Makes one wonder why we as humans are the opposite.

Well it is still busy here but having a good time writing my blog and catching up on e-mails and friends on Facebook. WordPress where I have my blog now shows you the countries that people who visit your blog live on a daily basis which is pretty cool. Now I noticed that about 60% of the people who stop by my blog live in the United States and the rest come from all over the world. It is amazing to think that with all the differences we have between countries and governments that we have sisters that crossdress everywhere. I have a couple friends, well we have never met but I read their blogs, Facebook pages and see their picture so I feel I know them and count them as friends from overseas. We share a lot of the same feelings about crossdressing even though we all have our own reason for who we are. It would be cool to meet them sometime and just sit and talk with them. It is amazing how the internet has brought the whole world together. We can now make friends with people from other states, countries with just a few clicks of the mouse. I wish that when I was younger there had been the internet as I would have been going out much earlier. It is an awesome way to meet people who share your interests.

Well tomorrow night the group I belong to will once again be out at the P-Club. It really is such a fun night out, yes we go to the same place every week but then for me the whole point is to be out with my friends. The place does not matter although the p-club is fun and the staff and other customers are awesome and treat us great. It is strange how we grow, when I first started going out I was scared to death and I think that fear and excitement was what was kept me going. Over time the fear went well almost away and the excitement also went way down and that is okay as now I am comfortable with who I am and now it is all about just being Susan and being ladylike and out with other people. I really think the more we get out the more common it will be and in time it will be no big thing to see a crossdresser.

Friday evening with my friends.

Well it has been another long and busy week so I was so looking forward to tonight and spending some quality time with my friends as Susan. It really is amazing how just getting ready as Susan reduces my stress. Someplace online I saw the statement that crossdressing is hard on you and complicates your life and I guess to a point it does but that being said there are so many good things about it that makes it all worthwhile. One of the hardest parts was learning how to do my makeup; GG’s (genetic girls) grow up from a young age and get lots of practice and help from their friends, sisters or mom. I on the other hand had to learn it all on my own as I have never told anyone. The most complicated part is keeping the two sides separate; it really is like living a double life. Like anything worthwhile though it is all worth it as I truly have the best of both worlds. Think of all the wonderful things we have today, it is all because someone put in the hard work to find them or create them. Just because something is hard does not mean it is not worth the effort.

Well it is official; I could not get time off this year for Diva Las Vegas so I will have to miss this year. It is sad but I am already looking forward to next year and making plans. I will miss seeing the wonderful ladies I have met there and of course the not being Susan for a whole week and no acrylic nails although I am sure I will find a chance to get them done at least once this year.

Well I got all ready to go out to the P-Club with my friends. Today was really nice and sunny and when it was time to leave it was still really light out and my new neighbor across the street was out washing his car. Now I have not met him yet so I had that going for me. I opened my garage door and as he turned his back to me I pulled out and onto the street just as he turned back. I know he did not get a good look but I am sure he saw what looked like a woman driving my car but as I said I don’t really know him so he will probably just thing she was my girlfriend or wife. With the nice weather and longer days now this will be more of an issue. It was nice having 3 vacant houses by me but not anymore as they are all full.

I got to the P-Club and found a spot in front and went in. Cassandra, Chris and Samantha were already there so I joined them. We talked for a bit and I broke the news to Cassandra I could not go to Diva Las Vegas this year, I hope she still goes. Well I was hungry so I went up and ordered some food from Nicole and wondered if she would say anything about me being there last night in male mode or had she even realized it. She gave no indication she knew I had been there so it was good. As a matter of fact I said hi to Cindy and also Paul who had also been there last night and no sign they knew either.

Veronica showed up next which was nice as it has been awhile since she has made it out on a Friday night because of work. It was nice to sit and talk with her; she even showed us a picture of the truck she is driving now. Several of the girls from our group are now driving truck which is good as they are working but it cuts into their time out with the group so any time they make it is wonderful.

We had a good turnout, maybe 15 to 20 girls from the group which is good as it hard for some girls to get out before it gets dark, yes Crossdressers tend to be more of a night people. I remember years ago I would never leave my house before 10 pm as it had to be dark and late so people weren’t likely to see me. It is a shame because I think we are more worried about what others think then they really are.

Olivia Brooke’s friend from last week and I guess my friend also now showed up with her friend Sarah, I knew she would be there and was kind of watching for them but never saw them come in but turned around and they were playing pool. Guess I am not very observant. Anyway I went over and talked to Olivia and met her friend who is also really nice. We talked for a bit and then I let them get back to their pool game. A little later I went back and talked to them, Sarah was wondering about some of us who had rings on our fingers, she said they looked like wedding rings. I explained some of the girls were married and others were just something they liked to wear. Now I do were a solitaire ring and yes it is on the second finger so it does look like a wedding or engagement ring. I have never really given it much thought why I wear it there other than that is the only finger it fits on. I also think it helps me feel more feminine it also I hope will keep men from approaching me but in the flip side it may be why woman also don’t approach me. I may have to think on this more.

There were two GG’s that walked by us and smiled. Now I did smile back and wave at them which was good for me as I am still working on being more outgoing. Cassandra on the other hand walked over to where they were sitting and just started talking to them, wow I need to really be more like this. Well I also went over and talked to them but it was really because Cassandra did it first. They were pretty awesome and thought it was great we were there and if this was what we like to do that was great.

Well it was getting late and Nicole was leaving for the night so I just had to know so I went and asked her if she had recognized me last night. She let out a big, “that was you, Cindy and I were trying to figure out who you were since you kept calling us by our names”. She said when I left and stopped right in front of her and said good night she was thinking I was one of as she put it her girls. So what I took away from this is if I had not called them by their names I think they would not have realized it was me.

Well it was time to leave and Olivia and her friend Sarah needed a ride home and since they only live about a mile away and pretty much right on my way home I offered to give them a ride. I would never let someone I know walk that far at 2AM in the morning, male or female just not safe. It was nice to have someone to chat with even for such a short distance. It was a fun night and I look forward to next Friday.

I should make it out to Starbuck’s this week either Tuesday or Thursday so I have that to look forward to also. Thanks for reading and have a great week.

Out again after two weeks.

Well it has been over two weeks of no Susan time and I was really ready to go out. It really is amazing when I think back just a few years and I was so glad to get out a few times a year and I was happy with theat. Now going a couple weeks seems like forever and so hard on this poor girl. Being Susan is such a part of my life now that it would be imposable for me to not be her. She is every bit as important as my male side. It really is funny how much she has grown, I have grown.

Well I got home from work and had to rush as Stefia, one of my friends e-mails me and said she could stop by Starbucks to chat between 6:30 and 7:15 I was pretty amazed as I stepped into the shower at 5:10 and was all ready and out the door as Susan by 6 which is really fast for this girl when you think of what all goes into creating Susan. The other drawback is it was still light outside so that is always a little worry but the more I go out I realize at some point one of my neighbors will see me. When that happens I will deal with it. It is funny as I have talked to a couple of my friends and we all have the same thoughts. It really would be easier if the neighbors knew we just can’t bring ourselves to say anything to them about it but all hope they will ask us about it. But that leads to another thought, they may already know and have the same feelings, they don’t want to bring it up and keep hoping I will say something.

Any way I got to Starbucks right at 6 and they were not really busy. The girl behind the counter knew what I wanted without me even having to ask so I guess that makes me a regular. I have seen her here before but they have more new girls working here and they seem to go through employees pretty regular so hard to learn their names. The one thing I have noticed is they are always females. In all the time I have been coming here I think I have only seen one male working here and maybe only twice. But no matter who is working I have always been treated wonderful here.

Stefia showed up about 6:45 and joined me. She has been out all day, lucky girl. She got her drink and a little snack as she had not eaten yet and then we sat and talked. It was so much fun to just share a little girl talk with her. There were probably 10 other people here and none of them paid any attention to us. We got on the topic of passing when we are out and we both seem to look at it then same. I know I will never fully pass, maybe if others don’t get a good look I might for a while but with my height it is very hard to pass but to me passing is if I can go out and be treated and accepted as a female even if they know I am not then to me I have passed. All the girls who work here treat me as a female and I think that is why I am so comfortable coming here week after week by myself. The key is to dress to blend in and to act like a proper lady I think. Stefia stayed till about 7:30 before she had to leave but we had a nice time and I am sure we will get together again.

Well I took some time and got caught up on my e-mails, seems going away for a week and not being online I had almost 200 e-mails. Most were postings from the group I belong to (Rose City T-0Girls) but I still took the time to read most of them, I did skip over the ones about going out while I was gone as I had missed them and really didn’t need to know where they were going and who was planning on attending. I always hate it when it takes me too long to reply. To be honest Susan is much better at replying to e-mails then my mails self. One of the little differences between the two sides of me.

I was really thinking about the differences between my two halves and it really is amazing. You would not think there would be any differences as we are after all the same person but there are. I think we tend to take on the roll of how we present ourselves which is a good thing. I think if one does not act the part they are presenting then you really are just a dud in a dress but I think if you try to act correctly people respond to it way better.

Well I am still waiting to hear about my vacation for Diva Las Vegas. I think my odds of getting the time off have improved but still only about a 60% chance of going this year. I had hoped to hear this week but now maybe next week. The one bad thing is if I can go this girl need to do some shopping of course I guess I could go shopping even if I can’t go. After all a girl can always use more clothes.

Well must get back to my e-mails. I will of course be out with my awesome friends tomorrow at the P-Club, I think I have missed spending time with them more then the dressing. Next week I will probably only be out on Friday but then I hope to get back to my normal twice a week so I should be back to updating my blog more again. Thanks for all who stop by and read it and leave comments.

Susan’s thoughts on crossdressing on her weekly outing.

Well it is Tuesday evening and this week my night for Susan to go out. Actually it had to be tonight as my next chance for Susan time will be two weeks from tonight which seems so far away. It is strange when I think just a few years ago it was no big thing to go weeks even months without a chance to be Susan. Now it is such a normal part of my life to have a couple nights a week it seems strange. I will miss the next two Friday nights out with my friends and of course the first Saturday of the month Cassandra and Peggy are hosting a get together at their home and the second Saturday of the month is our Harvey’s Comedy club night and I will also miss these so really I am missing 4 nights out with my friends. Now I know I will survive.

It makes one wonder why I or any crossdresser feels this way. What is it about dressing up as the opposite sex that can have such a strong effect on someone? I mean I even feel relaxed and happy just thinking about my time out as Susan. I guess it is like when you are looking forward to a vacation and even though you haven’t gone the thought of it and the fun you will have can make you feel happy and relaxed. Emotions are a complicated thing. I think one of the big things for me is the different looks I can have. As a guy I am pretty normal, short hair and actually my hair style looks the same as it did in High school well there is a little grey now. Woman change their hair styles and color all the time but generally speaking men don’t. Women really do have so many more options in how they look.

I love long nails but in my male life I can’t have them for several reasons. As Susan I get to have long nails in an array of different colors, tonight is Pompeii Purple, Last Friday a bright red and last week here at Starbucks a dark red. Even if only for a few hours having my long pretty nails is wonderful. It is so much fun to try different looks and so amazing how simple little things can change your look. Different style or length of a wig, color of lipstick or eye shadow, shoes, clothes they all can change your look and I find this really fun. For me I kind of look at it as being an artist and instead of painting a picture I create Susan. It is amazing how much it has grown from just putting on some makeup when I was small to trying to look and act as a woman. I guess that makes me an actress, I have a friend who has a blog which she calls crossacting which is really what I do. Think of when you were a little kid and you would play cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers, it is the same thing except I am playing dress up and being a lady. I get just as much fun as I did as a little kid playing and I think that is a big reason why a feel and people tell me I look young and I have no stress in my life, well maybe just a little as some times it is hard to figure out what I should wear or how I should do my makeup. I really believe everyone should have a little play time in their lives as we tend to be so busy and worry about everything that comes along. We all need a way to take a break from our daily lives and that is what I get from my crossdressing, that and it is just so much fun.

Well as I said tonight was my night out this week and I am at Starbuck’s. They were really busy when I got here, only on table open. It looks like they are also doing training on some new employees here tonight as they have 7 girls working and they are doing what looks like an orientation at the table next to me. The rest of the tables are full and they are almost all female, in the corner are two men and then the big table has 5 women and one guy, everyone else is female 3 at the table next to me 2 behind me and the other 3 tables have one woman each and most have computers. I guess this is the place for a single girl to go and work on her computer.

It really is nice that Starbuck’s has free Wi-Fi. It is so much better than sitting at home dressed as Susan on my computer. I know a lot of people wonder why I would come here by myself but it is fun and relaxing and as I said beats just sitting at home. for a $3.50 I can get a Hot Chocolate as I do have to go home and go to bed plus I am not a big fan of coffee. On a cold night like tonight I am having 2 and then just relax and play on my computer. Catch up on e-mails, update my blog, chat with friends and even find some time to do some actual work. If you are looking for a place to go by yourself I would recommend Starbucks.

Well must get some work done. Thanks for reading. This will be my last blog for a couple weeks but yes I will be back.

Have a great couple weeks.