Made it to Starbucks again finally

Well it has been another busy week for my male self. I was planning on coming to Starbuck’s tomorrow night but I have a meeting so at the last minute I decided tonight was my chance. I got all dressed up and was out the door earlier than normal when I come here so actually made it before 7. They are all done with their remodel and it really looks nice inside. They are also pretty busy as there was only one table open and I had to stand in line. The cool thing is it is almost all women here tonight only 3 men and about 15 women so I guess Starbuck’s tonight is a ladies night out.

It is strange as it has been awhile since I have been here. Looking back through my blog, one of the cool things about having a blog I can see the last time I was here was 5 weeks ago. For some reason I was thinking it had only been 3 weeks, my how time flies. It is relaxing to sit here and play on my computer, surf the internet, catch up on e-mails while enjoying a nice warm drink. It really is amazing how relaxing and comfortable I feel here.

I have been reading some of my friend’s blogs and posts on their facebook page about Diva Las Vegas. It sounds like they all had such a fun time and so many great pictures. I can’t wait for the Diva Las Vegas web page to post all the pictures. They usually give as month or two for people who attended to submit their pictures and then the same for those who attended to check them out and request to remove any of the ones with them in it as some girls want or need privacy and I know we have all been there at one time or another. I hope they will have them on their page by the fall. You can always check out the past years as they really have a lot of picture. It is a really fun week if you ever want to take a vacation as a girl.

Now I have gotten a few e-mails from other t-girls who I assume are just starting out wondering why I like to dress and I guess why they like to dress. I have done a lot of thinking on this over the years and all I can say is there is no one answers for everyone. We are all individuals and as such the reasons I dress may or may not be the same for others. There are some common areas that talking with other crossdressers I have found. Mostly it just feels right, I find it very relaxing. I can dress up as Susan and for a few hours I really am a different person, not a duel or split personality as I choose when and am always in control kind of like an actor or actress would play a part. But it is a great way to get away from any problems or issues in my life, what I call my mini vacations. As Susan I have a group of friends that are separate from my male side and his friends. It really is a great hobby and that is just how I view it. I have friends who play sports, camp, hike, fish, cook or any number of things to relax and for me it is being Susan. There really is no difference other than I think my hobby is way more fun. By the way I also like to camp, hike, fish and play some sports just my Susan time is the most fun for me.

Now as I said there are differences, one of the biggest for me is pictures. My male side hates his picture being taken but Susan loves the camera. It really is funny as I was going through all my pictures on my computer and it really shows. I found two pictures of my male self, both with an ex-girlfriend from 7 years ago, that is it. Now on the other hand Susan has over 2,000 pictures dating back to when I first started dressing which by the way is pre digital camera. Back when I would take pictures and have to have the film developed and then I would scan them into my computer before destroying the picture. I so love digital cameras so much easier and way cheaper. I was talking with some of my friends last week at the P-Club about this and it is funny as most of them are the same. Very few picture of their male self but hundreds if not thousands of their female side. I think girls are just more photogenic.

Now even with the differences between how I cat and dress deep down I am the same person. I think the same, now I will admit that I probably lean more to the female gender (feelings) but I think that is just normal for me, I tend to have a softer side and outlook on life. I like pretty things and I like all kinds of movies from the action adventure to what most people would call a chick flick. I really think it makes me a more rounded person as I can see both sides and enjoy it all. Sharing both male and female sides gives one a unique perspective on life in general.

It is funny as today at work there was a couple arguing and the woman told the guy with her, “you just don’t understand what woman deal with” and I was thinking to myself maybe he does. I know I don’t understand everything about being a woman but I do know a lot. It is hard work to always look good, makeup, hair, clothes. My male side can get up in the morning, eat a bowl of cereal. Shower and dress and be out the door in less than thirty minutes. Susan on the other hand needs a lot more time. Just my makeup can take 30 minutes or more.

Well must get back to my e-mails now. This Friday I will of course be out with my friends at the P-Club. We go there every week but for me it is not about where we go but spending time with my friends as that is so important. I really think having good friends to spend time with and it does not matter if you are male, female or transgender is what makes life awesome and fun and keeps you healthy and happy. So that is my tip for a healthy happy life, make some good friends and remember a friendship is just like a relationship, there will be good and bad times and it takes work but the work is well worth the effort because a true friend is always there for you.

Have a great rest of the week.

Susan’s thoughts on crossdressing on her weekly outing.

Well it is Tuesday evening and this week my night for Susan to go out. Actually it had to be tonight as my next chance for Susan time will be two weeks from tonight which seems so far away. It is strange when I think just a few years ago it was no big thing to go weeks even months without a chance to be Susan. Now it is such a normal part of my life to have a couple nights a week it seems strange. I will miss the next two Friday nights out with my friends and of course the first Saturday of the month Cassandra and Peggy are hosting a get together at their home and the second Saturday of the month is our Harvey’s Comedy club night and I will also miss these so really I am missing 4 nights out with my friends. Now I know I will survive.

It makes one wonder why I or any crossdresser feels this way. What is it about dressing up as the opposite sex that can have such a strong effect on someone? I mean I even feel relaxed and happy just thinking about my time out as Susan. I guess it is like when you are looking forward to a vacation and even though you haven’t gone the thought of it and the fun you will have can make you feel happy and relaxed. Emotions are a complicated thing. I think one of the big things for me is the different looks I can have. As a guy I am pretty normal, short hair and actually my hair style looks the same as it did in High school well there is a little grey now. Woman change their hair styles and color all the time but generally speaking men don’t. Women really do have so many more options in how they look.

I love long nails but in my male life I can’t have them for several reasons. As Susan I get to have long nails in an array of different colors, tonight is Pompeii Purple, Last Friday a bright red and last week here at Starbucks a dark red. Even if only for a few hours having my long pretty nails is wonderful. It is so much fun to try different looks and so amazing how simple little things can change your look. Different style or length of a wig, color of lipstick or eye shadow, shoes, clothes they all can change your look and I find this really fun. For me I kind of look at it as being an artist and instead of painting a picture I create Susan. It is amazing how much it has grown from just putting on some makeup when I was small to trying to look and act as a woman. I guess that makes me an actress, I have a friend who has a blog which she calls crossacting which is really what I do. Think of when you were a little kid and you would play cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers, it is the same thing except I am playing dress up and being a lady. I get just as much fun as I did as a little kid playing and I think that is a big reason why a feel and people tell me I look young and I have no stress in my life, well maybe just a little as some times it is hard to figure out what I should wear or how I should do my makeup. I really believe everyone should have a little play time in their lives as we tend to be so busy and worry about everything that comes along. We all need a way to take a break from our daily lives and that is what I get from my crossdressing, that and it is just so much fun.

Well as I said tonight was my night out this week and I am at Starbuck’s. They were really busy when I got here, only on table open. It looks like they are also doing training on some new employees here tonight as they have 7 girls working and they are doing what looks like an orientation at the table next to me. The rest of the tables are full and they are almost all female, in the corner are two men and then the big table has 5 women and one guy, everyone else is female 3 at the table next to me 2 behind me and the other 3 tables have one woman each and most have computers. I guess this is the place for a single girl to go and work on her computer.

It really is nice that Starbuck’s has free Wi-Fi. It is so much better than sitting at home dressed as Susan on my computer. I know a lot of people wonder why I would come here by myself but it is fun and relaxing and as I said beats just sitting at home. for a $3.50 I can get a Hot Chocolate as I do have to go home and go to bed plus I am not a big fan of coffee. On a cold night like tonight I am having 2 and then just relax and play on my computer. Catch up on e-mails, update my blog, chat with friends and even find some time to do some actual work. If you are looking for a place to go by yourself I would recommend Starbucks.

Well must get some work done. Thanks for reading. This will be my last blog for a couple weeks but yes I will be back.

Have a great couple weeks.

My Pedicure

Well it was a short night as I got to bed a little after 2 am and my alarm went off at 8 am. Now my appointment is at 10 am so I had 2w hours to get ready and downtown Portland to the Beauty School. Now I have been looking forward to this since I won the free pedicure at Cassandra & Peggy’s Halloween party, Thanks so much you two. Now getting ready would take a little time as when I got home last night all I did was wipe what makeup I could off and went right to bed so now I would have to remove all the makeup from last night, shave, shower and get ready. A lot to do and I really want to leave by 9:15 as it will take about 25 minutes to get there and I am not totally sure where it is or what the parking will be like so I have my work cut out for me.

Now one of the hardest to get off is my lipstick as I really like my lips to look good I have worked hard to find a way to keep it from coming off, so here is Susan’s tip of the day for long wearing lip color. I start with a good lip liner. I like Revlon color stay. Once I have my foundation on I outline my lips and then fill them in the whole lip with the lip liner. Now I work on the rest of my face, once my makeup is all done I put on my lip stick, I like L’Oreal Infallible Le Rouge as it is a long wearing lip stick to start. Now I set out my clothes and jewelry as this gives the lipstick a little time to set. Then I blot on a tissue which dries it out. Now I get dressed, wig jewelry and a when I am already to leave I put on another coat of lipstick and I am done. The results are great and the lipstick stays. Even in the shower with soap and water it really takes a lot and lot of scrubbing to get off. Wow got a little side tracked there.

Anyway I jumped into the shower and what I have found for getting off makeup including my lipstick and eye makeup is just a little Olive oil, not too much as that can make your skin really oily plus this also helps soften your facial hair for shaving. Once the makeup is gone I wash of the olive oil but your face is still soft feeling. Any way I showered and shaved and was out of the shower by 8:20 and started doing my makeup. Now being the day time the makeup is not nearly as heavy as when I go out to a club which does make it easier plus I already knew what I was going to wear. Any way I was happy as I was all ready and dressed and out the door at 9 am. One hour which from start to finish is really good, I guess practice does make you better. The one drawback is going for a pedicure I had to wear my flip flops which I really hate. I have never liked the look or feel of them, hate things between my toes but for a pedicure flip flops are a must so for one morning I make do.

No today is a beautiful day all sunny and bright but luckily my neighbor is not home and I don’t see anyone outside. I am kind of glad my appointment is earlier as I can leave before my neighbor get outside. Well I had my GPS all programmed for the beauty school Beau Monde which is in South West Portland and off I went. I love GPS as it took me right to it and as it turns out parking is not bad, I found several spots right across the street. I walked across and inside and was there by 9:35 so I was a little early. Any way as I walked in Roxy was right there so I checked in and we went back to start my pedicure. Funny when you sign in they have you sign a paper saying you are a model think it has to do with the fact they are students doing the work but hay if they want to call me a model who am I to argue.

Now if you have never had a pedicure you are missing something wonderful. Yes I can do it at home for a fraction of the price but there is something about having someone else do it. They soak your feet, trim the nails, buff the feet, clean the cuticle and then massage your foot and lower leg. Then they put the nail polish on and you are done. In all about an hour. In my mind so worth the money, typically in a salon around where I live it is $20 to $25 plus tip but As I had a free one it was even better. You really should give it a try.

Well Roxy worked on my feet, I keep calling her Roxy even though she was in male mode. I asked her if the people at the school knew about Roxy and her dressing and she said yes so it was just so much easier to call her by the name I know her best by. Any way we chatted the whole time she worked on my feet and it gave us a good chance to talk and get to know each other better. We have talked many times while out but you are always in a group so hard to get that one on one time to really get to know someone. It was just as I knew she is a really nice down to earth person. I learned where she grew up and a lot about her which is nice. Also learned a lot about the beauty school and how it works. Turns out the students not only pay for the beauty school but have to buy most of their supplies which they use on the customers that pay the school for the service. Now that is a good business to get into.

I of course picked out a bright red nail polish for my toes, yes I love red. She did an awesome job and my toes look great. She was a little slower so it took a little more time then when I went to the salon last time but that was fine with me as I was having fun. It was such a relaxing fun morning. When she was all done she had one of the instructors come in and check her work and sign off on my paper work. If you ever go to a beauty school tips are important to them as they work for free and pay the school to be there.

Roxy and I went upfront to the desk and I gave Roxy my gift certificate and a tip for her work. She thanked me and I was on my way. It was a little after 11 when I walked out onto the street with my pretty red toe nails showing. I thought about going shopping but as pretty as my toe nails looked I just didn’t want to be walking around in flip flops. Maybe if it was a nice warm summer day so I went home. It was a short time out as Susan, kind of like going to Starbucks but still fun and my feet look pretty again.

Thanks Roxy, you did a great job.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the weekend.

Why do we crossdress or do anything for that matter.

I was reading another blog the other day and in the blog she had wrote about searching for crossdressing blogs and then when you get to the blog finding out it hasn’t been updated in some cases for years and how frustrating that was to her. This got me thinking why we do what we do the things we do. To me it came down to three things, it is either a routine, a need or a want. And this goes pretty much for whatever we do in life. In the case of the blog it all depends on why one starts a blog and what their goal is with it.

It can be hard to come up with fresh ideas to write about so if that was your goal for your blog well you may not have things to say. When this happens to me I always go back to why I started my blog in the first place. my blog is for me, not that I don’t want or like others reading it I really do and I love the feedback and comments I get, but the goal of my blog was really an online diary of my time as Susan for me to keep track of my time out, places I went and people I have met. Now I will be the first to admit that a lot of my posts are pretty similar, after all how much can one write about going to Starbuck’s once a week, but it fits with my reason for the blog? If I only posted new things and wonderful insight into crossdressing and gender issues I would have very few posts.

Let’s start with doing things because of routines. This can be good or bad as most things are. You have to look at the things you are doing and see if doing it because of routine is good or bad. In the morning I have the same routine, get up eat breakfast, shower, shave, brush my teeth moisturize my face (very important as it keeps me young looking), get dressed and leave. The good point of this is doing it the same way I never forget something and really don’t have to think about it which is good in the morning when you are still sleepy. I also have a routine for how I do my makeup and become Susan; these are good routines to have. I also have a routine of going out Friday nights with my friends. This is something I really look. The bad part of this routine is when I miss a Friday night I am sad as it throws my whole week off as my friends are such an important part of my life.

Now let’s talk need. We all need things in life, food, money, clothes (in my cased male and female clothes), and place to live. I also have a need to be Susan as she is part of me part of who I am. I could no easier give Susan up than I could any of the other things listed above. This is something a lot of people don’t understand. Who we are is made up of everything about us. My views on life, stress, the way I interact with people, the way I treat others is all based on who I am inside and that is both male and female. Now for comparison let’s look at athletes, take a runner for example. I have several friends who run all the time; you could almost call it a religious thing for them. It is part of their routine, on the days they don’t run they are distracted and don’t focus. It is funny as some days just from how the act I can tell they didn’t get their morning run in. they also have a need to run, after all why would anyone get up an hour early every day and go out running in the cold, wet snowy weather. Their need shapes who they are just like my crossdressing. The need can be mental or physical. For me I sleep way better the nights after I have crossrdessed as I am so relaxed. The longer I go without crossdressing the more I think about it which is distracting as I don’t focus on things I need to do, also at night when I try to go to sleep I am thinking about crossdressing and when, if I will get to dress again which makes it hard to clear my mind and get a good night sleep.

Now let’s talk want. For me I want to crossdress, I like it, it is fun and I enjoy it. No one does things they don’t want to for very long. Being Susan is part of my life’s routine, Susan is a need I have but she is also something I want for my life. Again runners want to run, they like it, they like the way it feels and makes them feel. Let’s talk smoking now, I don’t smoke so the only information I have is friends who do and it is funny because as bad as smoking is for you it fits into these three categories too. I have asked some of them why they smoke and guess what it is a habit something they just do without thinking (routine). There is an addiction to the chemicals in the cigarettes (need). In most cases they like smoking, then look, feel, or feeling they get from it (want). Now like anything the only way to stop is removing one or all three of these things. My friends that have quit smoking successfully the key was they wanted to quit. Stopping anything because someone else want you to or tells you to will not work the only way you can stop something is if it is what you want.

I like being Susan, it doesn’t harm anyone, and it really doesn’t affect anyone else. It is something I do for myself. I love having pretty painted toe nails. I love the styles of clothes woman get to wear and also the shoes. I love makeup from the putting it on and doing different looks to just wearing it. I love long hair but as a guy for work I can’t have my hair long. I don’t want to be a woman full time and would never want to physically change my body but yes I would dress this way more if I had the chance. If it suddenly became accepted for men to have long pretty nails I would be the first in line to get acrylic nails and they would be painted and pretty all the time. If guys could wear dresses and no one would think twice about it I would wear dresses and skirts most days as I think they look better and are more comfortable to me. It is all just personal choice. I am sure there are a number of woman out there (I dated one for awhile) that hate dresses, and heel. Why it is okay for a woman to hate dresses and heels and no one wonders about them but if a guy likes these same thing they think he is strange.

Personal freedom and choice is what this country is all about. We are made up of different religions, races, beliefs and yet we all accept these things about each other but boy let a guy put on a dress or makeup and the world will end. I just don’t understand it. Now I am not saying you have to like the same things I door even do the things I do. Just please accept me for me and not how I look or dress.

The last thing is a question for all of you who might bread this. If one of your best friends or a family member suddenly told you they were a crossdresser, how would it affect your friendship or relationship with them? Now before you answer I know there will be an effect and it will change a little but would it end your friendship or could you stay friends with them?

Beautiful sunny day finished at Starbucks

Well it has been a beautiful day today after some morning clouds. It is funny as I started the week with Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights open for going out all I had to do was pick which one I wanted and then by Tuesday morning the only night I still had open was tonight so Susan is out. It is so funny how things can come up so fast and unexpected. Life really does come at you from all sides and that is why it is so important to have something fun that you really enjoy in your life to relax you. That is what being Susan does for me, no matter how busy, stressed out or problems I face I can always become Susan and for those few hours it all goes away. Now I am not saying everyone should crossdress but everyone should have some way to get away each week for just a few hours. I would highly recommend crossdressing though as it really is fun.

I was reading on a friend’s blog about her view of crossdressing and the different stages we go through from wondering if there is something wrong with us, to not liking being this way, trying to stop and hopefully in the end acceptance. She compared it to a disease. Now I am not sure that is the word I would chose but crossdressing does have a lot of the same characteristics of a disease. For me I know I will never be over my want, need or desire to be Susan so in that way it is the same as living with a disease with no cure, but even if there was a cure I would not want it. I like who I am, my dressing, spending time as Susan does not hurt anyone including me. Yes it does make life hard sometimes but that is also part of the fun. In a way I am like a secret agent living a double life. If you take my life and who I am either in my male life or my female life both sides have had an impact on my life and made me who I am. Without both sides of me I would not be complete. I have friends who have their hobbies and it shapes who they are just the same.

Our lives are always changing, growing and who we are today will effect who we are tomorrow. If we stop growing then we will wither away and die. There are countless studies out that say the way to stay young and healthy is to always try new things, keep learning and expanding who you are. If you have goals, something to look forward to you will always be healthier and happier. When things get me down I can think about the next time I go out and what I will wear or how I will do my makeup and before you know it I have a smile on my face. I am sure people around me wonder what I am thinking that can change my mood so fast.

If I go without having time to be Susan I find I start thinking about it more and more that is the desire I was talking about. Especially at night I find I can’t stop thinking about it and then I have a hard time clearing my mind so I can sleep. Now the nights I spend time as Susan when I get home I am so calm and relaxed I go right to sleep and sleep really great so I know the benefit for me. No matter what you face in life the key is to be happy with who you are. No matter how much money you have or don’t, no matter what job you have or don’t if you can be happy with yourself then you have everything you need. Money, friends, jobs and anything else you have can come and go or be taken away. The one thing that is truly yours and no one can change is who you are. You know the old saying, if someone gives you lemons make lemonade well if someone gives you lipstick put it on and be happy.

No I will admit when I first started dressing I thought it was a curse and would have done anything to stop and be what society calls normal. I can’t tell you how many times I prayed for that but now looking back I see all I would have missed out on. The people I have met along the way. The friends I have made, some of my best friends in the world are really friends of Susan and had it not been for her I would not know them and I that would be a huge hole in my life.

It is strange that you can meet someone maybe only once or twice and have a bond with them because you share something so unique and special. Part of the fun of being at Starbucks is chatting online with friends, some I have never even met in person and yet there is a bond. Now with all that said there are still challenges and parts of my life that are made harder with Susan in it but I think the good parts far out way the bad parts besides everything in life has good and bad. Having a car is great as you have freedom, you can go anyplace you want whenever you want but you also have to pay for the car, gas, insurance and upkeep but again the good out ways the bad. The key is to find balance, as in anything in your life. I love chocolate but if I eat too much Susan gets fatter and if I keep eating I get an upset stomach. So I limit how much chocolate I eat. Same goes for Susan. I really enjoy my time out as Susan but I also know I need my male side, work, friends of my male side, family and there are things I like to do that would not be as easy to do as Susan. So I set limits, 2 or maybe 3 times a week for me is a good balance.

The other thing I have thought about is being Susan is fun and special and part of that is I look forward to that time. If I was Susan all the time then it would not be special and would become routine and I think for me that would spoil it for me.

Wow got off on a tangent there. Well Starbucks is pretty quiet tonight, maybe 8 others here. I think everyone is out enjoying the nice evening outside. The rest of the week will be busy but I will be out on Friday again at the P-Club. This week Cassandra will not be out as her and her wife Peggy are going away for the weekend so not sure how many will come out. I hope a lot will as it would be great to have another big group. I will have to make a couple posts to our group to try and get people out. Any way I will post again this weekend, have a great rest of the week and thanks to all who stop by and read.

Creating Cleavage tips I use

Well this will be just a quick post; a while back I did a blog about how I create my cleavage. Actually I have had it on my web page for several years if you want to read about it with pictures. The cost is not much and it does a really good job at least for me. It pulls some of my chest skin up and makes it look like I have breast.

Too really make this work and look great is adding a little contour to the middle and highlight the tops to give it that three dimensional look. Now getting the makeup on my chest just right has always been hard for me so one trick I have used during the summer is tan lines. Yes several years back I bought a bikini and no there are no pictures of me in it. My body does not look good in a two piece but what I found is if I get just a light tan just enough to show the hint of a tan line it really helps the look.

Well the last 2 days I have had to go into work extra early so today I found myself home from work at noon and the weathers is beautiful out. Now I have a pretty private back deck and as it was so early I decide to get a little sun. Now we are talking light tan lines so only need 20 to 30 minutes plus the sun feels so nice as we have had unusually cold and rainy weather this year.

Well I lay out on the deck and well I guess the short nights caught up with me. With the fireworks going off the last few nights I could not get to sleep till after midnight and had to be up by 3 am for work so I have had very little sleep. Bet you all know where this is going, I accidently fell asleep on my deck and woke up 2 hours later. Now it is not quite a sun burn but pretty close, very dark and a bit red and very noticeable without a top on not that I go around without a shirt on. I guess I should have been more careful. I also thought afterwards that usually I do this later in the day so the sun is at more of an angle instead of right overhead. Well lessons learned.

Well I debated about posting this but in the end my blog is about Susan and everything she does so here it is.

Why spend the time and effort for such a short time out as Susan.

Well it has been a really busy week again and it turns out tonight was my only chance to get out to Starbucks for a couple hours. I was thinking earlier about why even with being so busy it is so important to me to be able to find time to be Susan. I guess when you think about it, it does seem silly. I start getting ready no later than 5:30 so I can be to Starbucks by 7 or slightly past. I can only stay till 9 as that is when they close then drive home and change back and remove my makeup so I can be in bed by 10. I guess if you just look at the time and effort involved for that 2 hours most people would not do it but then I am not most people.

I love the whole experience from the time spent getting ready and even the time removing the makeup for bed. There is something fun and relaxing about the whole thing for me. I was chatting with a girl online and she could not understand how I found it fun. In her words if you had to do it every day you would look at it different. She probably has a point but I pointed out that I only become Susan twice a week with the exception of Diva Las Vegas. Now you can’t compare us equal as most woman start wearing makeup in their early teens and they probably have done their makeup every day since. Now for me it is only twice a week so I have not done my make up enough for the fun to wear off, plus I do my makeup because I want to not because I feel I have too. But more than that it is what I like and it is just that simple.

I have a friend that goes to the gym 4 nights a week. It is a 10 minute drive for her to get there and she spends about an hour and a half there then has to shower afterwards and then drive home. It is something she likes to do. She likes to work out and she also enjoys the time out of the house. There really is no different. Everyone has things they like to do it really is that simple for me. The nights I go out as Susan when I get home I am so relaxed and I sleep so well on those nights. I can’t tell you how relaxing it is to step outside your regular life and put it all aside for even a few hours. While I am Susan I forget all about my male life, work family and anything else that my male side deals with just stops and does not exist. I can only imagine how calm and relaxed the world would be if everyone could put their life aside for a few hours every week.

Well as I said I am at Starbuck’s tonight and they are really busy. Strange as when I got here there were only a few cars but inside they were packed, I guess most walked as it is pretty nice outside. The only table was way in the back corner so it is a little harder to people watch tonight. I can’t really see the front door but I do get a good look out the window which looks out on a busy corner, lots of cars and even people walking by so I can watch some.

Any way while I was standing in line the one girl making the drinks asked me if I wanted my usual and told me I could go sit down so I got to bypass the whole line which was nice. I guess the fact I come here all the time has its advantages. When she called my drink I went to get it and pay for it and she told me not to worry about it which also was very nice. I had the money in my hand so just put it in the tip cup for them. All the girls here have always treated me great so I always like to leave a tip. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t tip just to tip but when you are treated great and have great service then a tip is well deserved.

I have been here over an hour and all the tables are still full and I think they are all the same people who were here when I got here with the exception of the couple at the next table they came in about 30 minutes ago. It is good to see them busy as I have been here on night when they had no one here.

Well I must be getting to other things before they close. I will leave you with my advice to a happy life. Find something you really enjoy and then make it a part of your life. Doing something you love regular is the best way to stay happy. The days leading up to it are filled with anticipation and then you have the fun of doing it and afterward you have the memory of it so if you do something fun every week it is always in your thoughts and that will put a smile on your face. Your stress will go down which will make you feel better, look better and everyone around you will wonder why you are so happy. Feel free to share this tip with your family and friends as the best advice is always free. Tonight is not even over and I am already looking forward to Friday night when I will once again be out with all my wonderful friends.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.

Beautiful sunny day out at Starbuck’s

Well this week has been so busy; I had hoped to go to Starbuck’s on Thursday night as I am busy every other night this week through next Tuesday. Well I got home from work and found out the meeting I had scheduled for tonight was changed to tomorrow night killing my chance for going out. As I did not want to miss a chance this week I made a last minute decision to go to Starbuck’s tonight. I really hate being rushed and not planning my time out as Susan but I also knew if I didn’t go tonight I would not get a chance again till the end of next week.

It is a beautiful day here low 70′s and sunny which we have not had for a long time, actually this is the warmest day we have had sense last September so I was happy all day. We have had so much rain any sun is good. Well as I was leaving my house my neighbor got home, she was carrying her groceries in when I pulled out so I really don’t think she saw me as it looked like her back was to me but with it being light later and the nice weather starting I hope I am sure it will be harder to get out without being seen.

I got to Starbucks right at 7 and there was only 1 other person inside so I had my choice of tables. Even now there are only 3 of us inside and a couple out on the patio. I really think everyone is enjoying the nice night outside.

Well I have a new topic for my blog tonight. Moderating blogs and groups. A couple blogs I follow and a group I belong to has been dealing with this issue lately. So as this is my blog to post my views I thought I would step into the debate. Now as I have put in earlier blogs I am pretty open to comments on my blog. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me but I do expect to be treated with respect. I have had a few comments that thought how I chose to live my life is wrong and they don’t like it and that is fine as all did it without being cruel or calling me names so those were approve. I think I have only denied 2 and that was because they verbally attacked me instead of stating their opinion. That I will not allow.

Well back to moderating blogs or group, what we all need to remember is 2 simple things. One the person or persons who own or run the group or blog have the right to do whatever they want, it belongs to them. It is no different then you doing something to your car or home, I have no right to tell you how you should paint your house or car anymore then you should tell me what I have to put on my blog. If you want to have free rein to post whatever you want then you need to start a blog or group of your own. Now for the blogs I follow I do not know what the comments was that were deleted but it was the right of the owner of the blog to do that. From the postings I saw it appears that they were attacks on the person writing the blog.

Groups are a whole other story as it is a community of members and the owner / moderators need to do what is best for the group as a whole. If posts are causing issues in the group, if they are attacking other members, if they are dividing the group then they not only have the right but the duty to moderate for the group. It is just the same as the city or county we live in, there are laws (rules) that are put in place to keep peace and harmony. I feel we can express how we feel and our view without causing problems if we are careful and think before we post. I guess what I am saying is think how it will sound to others before you post. I will give a couple examples of what I mean.

“Wow I really don’t care for that dress you are wearing” fine

“Wow I really don’t care for that dress you are wearing, it makes you look like a slut” not okay as this attacks the person and really has nothing to do with your liking the dress or not. In this last case I would delete the post so what I am saying is I support the right of people ton police their blogs and groups.

Well as I said earlier I will not make it out this Friday with the group which is sad as I so look forward to spending time with my friends. But with missing this week I will have the whole Memorial Day weekend off which will be great. I still hope to get to Starbucks again next week, probably Thursday or Tuesday not sure yet. I will also be out on next Friday with my friends and also on Saturday at a BBQ. That will be fun as it is at a friend’s house who only knows me as Susan but most of the guest are not t-girls. I just hope the weather is good. Wow if I do go to Starbucks Thursday that would be 3 nights in a row, maybe I should try to do Starbucks Tuesday next week. I guess I could also skip Starbucks and go shopping for a new outfit for the BBQ. Well we will see what next week looks like.

Well I guess I will close here, have a great week and please if you post to a group, blog or anyplace else, you can agree or disagree but please be respectful. The world is a whole lot better place when we treat each other with respect.

Why do I like to go out Dressed as Susan

Well it is my usual night out at Starbuck’s and I thought I would take time to answer a question I seem to get asked a lot in e-mails. Why do I go out, especially to Starbuck’s by myself? I have thought a lot about this and this is what I came up with.

For years I would dress and stay in the privacy (safety) of my own home. It was all about dressing up, seeing what I looked like. Didn’t matter what I did while at home, if I was Susan it was fun. From watching TV to cleaning the house. It was all about being Susan.

What I found was as time went by Susan grew. She wanted to experience the real world. As I started going out more and met others and made some wonderful friends. This gave me the chance to go out on a regular basis and I became more comfortable as Susan. There is something so fun and relaxing to be out and interact with other people as Susan. The more I did this the more I realized I wanted to be able to go where I wanted. Starbuck’s is a very relaxed and comfortable place to go. I have been too many different Starbuck’s and always been treated great. Now I do go to the same one when I go out each week as I have gotten to know the girls who work here and they are all so great. They always ask how I have been and if I miss a week they notice. Really a nice feeling.

The other reason is GG’s don’t only go out in groups. Most nights here at Starbuck’s it is about equal the number here alone or with others. It is fun to people watch when I am out. Starbuck’s is a really good place to do this as you get such a wide range of people from young to old. Tonight there are 3 teenage girls at the next table and they have really paid no attention. It is strange but I find it so relaxing to be out now and it really gives me a chance to catch up on my e-mails as there are none of the distractions I have at home. It really is peaceful and fun. Most of the time when I am out I forget how I am dressed and just enjoy myself. It truly is a wonderful feeling when you don’t have to think abouthow you are dressed and can just enjoy the time out.

So I guess going out as Susan is just my way of growing and experiencing new things as Susan. I have a perfect balance between Susan and my male side. I really think that is the key for me.

So I guess the reason I go out as Susan is she is as much a part of who I am as my male side and with that I can’t just leave her bottled up at home. If I did that I would only be living half of my life and that would not be healthy.

Well as I said I am at Starbucks tonight. They are not real busy tonight as there are only a few who have been here sense I got here. Most seem to get their drinks to go. So I have had a good chance to people watch. It always amazes me how fast the time goes while I am here. Well I must get on with my e-mails. I will be out tomorrow with the group so I will post again on Saturday.

Thanks for reading and have a great night.

Passing in public

Well I am out at Starbucks again for my normal night out. The last week I have seen a couple posts and received a few e-mails about how a crossdresser passes in public and so I thought I would give my view on this. I have been going out regularly every week now for over a year now and I know that I do not pass; at best I hope I can cause people enough doubt that they wonder about it but don’t say anything. I have to be honest as I stand 6 foot tall with no shoes and weight, well let’s just say it is more than a normal woman would weigh. As a gut I have broader shoulders and narrow hips. In short not much I can really do other than pad my hips. There are many other differences too such as woman having narrower wrists and men have Adam Apples. So many differences that it is almost impossible to completely pass all the time.

Now being out and having no one figure out I am a man would be the ultimate in passing but for me it is more being accepted when I am out. If I can go out and have people accept me for how I am dressed and not my physical gender then to me that is passing. As I said I am at Starbucks again tonight and they are really busy again and yet when I came in nobody stopped what they were doing and stared at me. They all just went on with what they were doing. Some of them I am sure noticed but was no big deal and the rest are caught up in what they are doing, working on the computer, reading or chatting and never noticed. To me this is passing.

I have found that being out and being accepted (passing) has a lot more to do with your confidence and how you act then how you look. I know a few women that never wear makeup, short hair and really dress casual and yet no one questions them on whether they are male or female. The reason is they know they are female and that is how they come across. They also act feminine from their walk, talk sit and so many more things. When I am out as Susan I try my best to act just like a lady, smaller steps, sit with my legs together and anything else I can think of. I think if you try to emulate female and do it in a positive way it really helps people accept you. After all imitation is the greatest form of flattery. But if you come across as making fun of woman or femininity by the way you dress I think you will have some problems as no one like to be made fun of.

As I said there are probably 20 other people here at Starbucks and only 2 of them I recognize from being here before when I was here and yet no one is distracted by me or have left. My being here has changed nothing. Starbucks is a really cool place to go. Now I also know it might be different if 15 or 20 of us all came in at once. Well that is my view on passing. I am sure there are others that have their own views and stories and would love to hear them as I think the exchanging of ideas helps everyone.

Well as I said Starbucks has stayed busy most of the night. There are still about 12 people here all of which were here when I got here. When I got here the girl remembered my drink and even brought it out to me. So nice I must give her a good tip tonight.

Well it is less than 2 months to Diva Las Vegas and I am ready. Need to do a little shopping as I need a new pair of shoes (flats) for walking around and maybe a couple new outfits. According to the last e-mail they were up to 140 registered and so far all they are registering are those who went before and those who subscribe to their announcement list. They will open it to everyone in another week or so. Last year they had just under 180 which was a record, I think they might beet that this year. It was so much fun last year and I am sure it will be better this year.

Well I guess I will close my blog. I have been checking my views on my blog and January was my best month, just over 1500 views. Wow this girl is honored that so many people have stopped by. I really started this as a way for me to keep track of my life as Susan never thinking others would read. I also love all the comments that have been left. I love reading them and don’t care if you agree with me or even approve of how I live as long as your comment is respectful I will add it to my blog.

Have a great week and will blog again this weekend after going out Friday night.